fact.
he was:
a) a dreamboat
b) hilarious
c) fun to be with
d) easy to talk to
e) the perfect mix of sweetheart and asshole…
f) a colleague (which brings me to g)
g) off limits

i had a crush on a co-worker for about a year before i ever had a real conversation with him. he was funny. he was sweet. he was charming. he was italian. and he was: gorgeous.

for the first year i worked with him, i thought he had a girlfriend. and by the time we became pals, i was jussssssst out of a relationship and having fun dating everyone and their dads (brothers, uncles, cousins, nephews). besides – i had a strict ‘don’t shit where you eat’ policy. the fact is, i liked my job…and nothing good ever comes from dating a co-worker. so, we were friends. i told him about my endless dating disasters and he told me about the endless number of girls throwing themselves at him (i could hardly blame them – i’m telling you…the boy was delicious – complete & pure yumminess). being friends worked for us. until one night…

he called me and told me that he had officially put in his 2 weeks notice at work (he was moving back home to go back to school) and therefore we were no longer co-workers…which meant, we could date. huuuuuuuuuuh?! my head almost exploded.

he had a crush too?!

what’s a gal to do?

when a dreamy hunkahunka burnin’ love is trying to nudge the dating door open, you kick that shit wide OPEN!

my best friend was having a dinner party the next night and so, i took him. our first date: me. and my best girls. it had the potential to be completely awkward, but it never was. he was the perfect date. i fell a little in love with him that night. and i think my best friend did too. the only thing wrong was knowing he’d be moving across the country in a couple months…

up until that point, he was literally the most perfect guy i had ever met. well, not perfect, but at the time: perfect, for me. i was pretty crazy about him, briefly. the problem was, we were very very alike. manipulative, alpha types who both need to be in control of our relationships. so, i was never able to let myself really fall. i was always holding back. i like to think of it as self-preservation. walls are there to protect me. and i’m not silly enough to fall head over heels for a casanova. no matter how charming. who knows what would’ve happened if he hadn’t moved away? but ‘what if’ is a waste of time. i’m grateful for the time we spent together. and he’ll always have some real estate in my heart. even if it does belong to someone else.