is lame.
i can’t imagine settling for anything less than my personal best. life is too precious for mediocre. and frankly, i’m too good for that.
who wants to be average? sounds mundane. and yawn-inducing. i have no interest.
truth is, i’ve never been able to do anything with half my heart anyway. and i can’t wrap my head around why you’d want to…
so i’m pushing forward. breaking down walls. and taking no prisoners. (unless they’re very dreamy and can make me laugh)
in the past i’ve gone out a limb assuming that i wouldn’t be alone out there, only to find i’m dangling on the edge of a branch. all. by. myself.
…which has sucked.
but the truth is: i would never. ever. take that treacherous branch crawl back. i grew up climbing trees. the ground is boring. and tomorrow isn’t promised.
so, i’m keeping my hopes up. staying optimistic. and hoping that maybe this time will be different…
another sleepless night.
i’m so restless these days. it isn’t a new feeling.
and it isn’t a bad one…i feel like i’m on the brink of so much that i’d rather not waste time sleeping.
i want immediate gratification.
life has other plans.
i have a theory. regarding kitchen appliances and love. namely ovens and stovetops.
i affectionally refer to it as my back burner theory.
if you know me at all, you know i’m a big big fan of honesty. i’m not into wasting other people’s time. or my own.
which is why this back burner thing is slightly disturbing to me.
example, i met a boy. i really liked him. thought he was interesting, attractive, could match wits. i was interested. but then he asked me one day ‘this girl likes me, how do i blow her off?’
cue record scratching sound. i said ‘why not try honesty? something along the lines of: i’m just not feeling a romantic connection.’ when i’m not feeling it, i let it be known. i’m all about cutting people loose when i need to.
he thought that was mean. his solution was to make up an excuse and keep stringing her along. (i.e. put her on the back burner.) i think the truth is kinder. i’d rather tell someone i’m not feeling it and let them move on. allow them to find someone who feels the same way they do. when i explained this to the boy and called him out the back burner thing, he said ‘i have a big stove top’. i immediately became uninterested. anyone that needs to keep people around for reassurance that badly is not right for me.
my stove top is small and only has room for front burners.
as an aside, regarding the photo for this post: i waited over 6 years for this lovely mixer. i asked for it for every birthday/christmas/valentine’s day/fourth of july/monday/tuesday/wednesday/thursday/friday/saturday/sunday. finally, for my 30th birthday, my bestie gifted it to me. it’s everything i dreamed of. and more. just like her. and whether there is a boy in my life or not, she’ll always be a front burner.
sdinsd 