i was talking to a friend last night about a girl that’s he’s sorta interested in. we were discussing the potential of a relationship with said girl…

him: a big part of me thinks, no it wouldn’t work out, but there is a little part that thinks, maybe it could?
me: yeah, i think i know what that ‘little’* part is.
him: (laughing) you’re a bitch!
me: i think i’m hilarious.

same friend. different convo about another girl. she’s interested. he’s just not that into her.

him: she gets off work at 6:00pm and calls me at 6:01pm. she leaves her mom’s house at 7:30pm and by 7:31pm my phone is ringing. i just don’t know what to do. she wants to hang out ALL THE TIME.
me: yes, you do. but it’s nice to have someone around who really likes you…when it’s convenient for you.
him: you’re absolutely right. it is nice.
me: cut her off.

*disclaimer: i don’t actually know about the specifics of his anatomy. the word ‘little’ is being used figuratively only. (but he’s got huge hands. and feet)