Posted on by shirindawna

you can’t outsource bragging.

so, i’m the first one to toot my own horn when appropriate (and sometimes when it isn’t).

i will be the first to admit that i’m (slightly*) narcissistic. one of my favorite things to talk about is myself. i think i’m hilarious, super interesting, and fairly fascinating (especially after a little caffeine or a couple cucumber martinis).

on the flip side, i will be the first to admit when i am bad at something. when i am wrong, i admit it. i’m brutally honest…even with myself.

especially with myself.

which leads me to this year’s resolution…while as a rule, i don’t typically believe in using the new year as an excuse to make a resolution/change, i am making an exception this year. because rules are made to be broken. and i’m a rebel (at least in my own head)

i resolve to treat myself with the same kindness that i reserve for my loved ones.

…because let’s be honest, i’m a whole lot of awesome. and i’m happy to tell you all about it.

* extremely

Posted on by shirindawna · 10 Comments

research.

WARNING: HIGH SNARK & CRAZY FACTOR

proceed at your own risk. i’m 2 cups of coffee in and i have 2 bar method classes under my belt.

some call it ‘stalking,’ i call it ‘love.’

my best friend recently met a girl. he likes the girl. he told me her name and within 5 minutes, i had messaged him 3 photos of her.

i won’t lie, i engage in some mild to moderate facebook stalking from time to time.

the victims are typically:
a) ex-boyfriends
b) ex-girlfriends of current boyfriends

i can openly admit this now since the guy is no longer in my life…but i was on a mission one day to track down a photo of the guy i was dating’s (we’ll call him ernie*) ex-girlfriend. let me walk you through the crazy of my mind.

my first course of action was to find ernie on facebook, which i couldn’t do…he’s unsearchable. (so am i, sneaky move). i’m smarter than that though, i found his sister. which led me to him, HA!

and then, i looked through each of their friend lists to find friends they had in common. i didn’t know his ex-girlfriends name. just where she lived and her ethnicity. lo and behold, after a few clicks: i found my girl.

and then another dead end. her photo was of a child**. maybe a niece? sorta cute. mostly irritating.

but now i was armed with a name. so, i did what any intelligent researcher would do. i googled imaged her. no luck. couldn’t figure out which cute or not-so-cute face it could be.

after some more hunting i figured out where she worked…

…found her linkedin profile. and no photo! (don’t judge me, i am CURIOUS)

seriously, this chick was killing me.

although, during my delving i did find one of his previous ex girlfriends. currently married and still very much interested in him…she was on a reality tv show. not that cute (she didn’t hurt my eyes, but i am definitely easier to gaze upon). (i’m allowed to be a snot, she was bratty about me dating him ~ jealousssssssss. i am seriously snarky today). i felt fully justified in my scrutiny of her since she asked him for a photo of me and after being grouchy about someone dating her ex, she finally conceded to my looks. i mean, when your ex-boyfriend dates someone who is cuter than you there isn’t much you can say…

and then with a more recent victim, i sent the following email to a friend: i’m stalking their facebook. unblocked photos. i’m making a ‘research’ folder and emailing you photos when i’m done.

the internet is so bad for me!

i think it is evident that i am a lunatic.

…though an honest one.

*NOT his real name
**she has since updated her facebook profile pic to one of her, and i’m not impressed. or disgusted. he could do better. in fact, he did.