down bad.
while explaining what deadlifts are to my child, he asked if i thought of lifting my dad while i was doing them at the gym. the association with lifting dead weight to lifting a dead person was one i hadn’t considered (until that moment)…
naturally, i broke into song…(after a hearty laugh) and it gave one of my favorite songs new meaning.
not gonna lie, there’s been a lot of “fuck it if i can’t have him” since i lost my baba…parts of me which have mostly healed, but the agony of grief persists on the darkest days.
Protected: argumentative, antithetical dream girl.
am i bad? or mad? or wise?
one of my favorite dinnertime conversations with my husband is when we discuss who we would date if a tragic, early death befell the other.
it’s so morbid.
it’s so fun.
it’s such a treat to be with someone who is secure (despite all my efforts).
side note: he has excellent taste. (obvs, we knew this, but these discussions have really driven the point home).
worst case scenario, he’s planning to jump into some of my online groups and ask “who in here has a red light?” and use that as a starting point. brilliant, actually (if he’s looking for another me, which…of course he is). if you happen to see him lurking in there, offer your condolences.
after all, anyone who knows me knows i’m a planner…and a wise woman once said “there’s no such thing as bad thoughts…only your actions talk.”
naturally, my second favorite thing is texting all our picks to enlighten/warn them.
sdinsd 