it’s become a mantra of sorts…a quiet, almost passive permission we give to the world around us. let them. it’s simple, freeing in theory, but it’s not that easy. it’s the ultimate “don’t sweat the small stuff” whisper to ourselves, yet it’s much more nuanced than that.

let them leave without explaining themselves. let them cancel plans last minute. let them say what they need to say, even if it cuts. let them live however they need to live. the concept is about relinquishing control, the impossible, gut-wrenching, soul-baring release of your grip on other people’s actions and, by default, your reactions.

i’ve tried it. letting people do their thing, letting them show you who they are without you trying to manage, control, or convince them otherwise. let them, right? but here’s the thing: letting them doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt. it doesn’t mean you don’t sit there with the silence after the storm, feeling the ache of the absence, the sting of unmet expectations. it doesn’t mean you stop caring.

but it does mean you stop holding your breath for people to be different than who they are.

i used to get wrapped up in the idea of people. how they could be, if they just did this or that, or if life hadn’t jaded them, or if they cared less about what others think, or if they just tried harder, or if they weren’t so insecure. the fantasy of potential is a dangerous thing. but “let them” is a reality check. people are who they are, and they will do what they want to do with or without your input, your nudging, or your wishes.

so what happens when you “let them?” it doesn’t mean you lose your boundaries or lower your standards. it just means you stop taking on the burden of changing someone else. you step back and let them walk their path, make their choices. and you decide what you want to do with the aftermath.

let them show you who they are, and believe them when they do.

there’s a quiet power in that. it’s not about giving up or being indifferent; it’s about acknowledging that everyone is living their own experience. the way they treat you, the choices they make, that’s their business. how you respond? well, that’s yours.

so, the next time someone disappoints you, falls short, or doesn’t meet your unspoken expectations? let them. and let yourself walk away if you need to.

because at the end of the day, it’s not just about letting them do what they do, it’s about letting yourself choose peace over control. and maybe, just maybe, that’s the real win.