while explaining what deadlifts are to my child, he asked if i thought of lifting my dad while i was doing them at the gym. the association with lifting dead weight to lifting a dead person was one i hadn’t considered (until that moment)…

naturally, i broke into song…(after a hearty laugh) and it gave one of my favorite songs new meaning.

not gonna lie, there’s been a lot of “fuck it if i can’t have him” since i lost my baba…parts of me which have mostly healed, but the agony of grief persists on the darkest days.