Posted on by shirindawna

taboo.

hot on the heels of my previous posts, i’m remembering funny things from my childhood. when i was growing up my mom didn’t approve of me saying two things:

hate.

and

shut up.

i was allowed to say that i didn’t like something at all, but the H-word was forbidden. also okay to say was ‘please, be quiet’ – which does NOT have the same emphatic tone that ‘SHUT UP!’ does.

cussing was never an issue, but these two things if ever uttered would get me in DEEP trouble. (although the joke was on my mom, she’d put me in time out and i’d take a nap)

i still feel a twinge of guilt when saying i hate something. and i’m appalled when i hear ‘shut up’. this may come as a shock to even my best friends who know me as being crass with a little too much sass. i’ll drop the C-bomb no problem, but find ‘hate’ to be a little too harsh.

go figure.

see mom? i listened a little bit.

Posted on by shirindawna

mac daddy.

i was on gchat sunday night when i got a message from my dad (who will from this point forth be referred to as ‘baba’ because that’s what i call him).

baba: i got a mac.
me: your life is about to get better!
baba: i don’t know how to turn it off.
me: (laughing) do you see an apple in the top left corner?
baba: i don’t see anything. i’m running galaxy.
me: what do you see when you look up?
baba: sky.
me: (dying laughing) really? not ceiling? you should get your roof checked.
baba: and stars.
me: (laughing even harder. my dad is FUNNY!) hahahaha!
baba: i’m not joking.
me: oooooh! galaxy. i get it.

here i was thinking my dad was being a smartass. i was so proud. and amused.

oh well. at least he has a mac now.

Posted on by shirindawna · 2 Comments

some things never change.

when i was about 3 or 4 i told my mom i wanted curly hair (which of course i have now and curse). i had lovely long hair and she took me to her friend who was a hair stylist. she CHOPPED off all my hair. it was short and curly. i hated it. i never said anything about losing the length. i just wanted beautiful, bouncy curls. she failed to deliver.

when we pulled up to our house i asked my mom if my hair would ever grow back. she said ‘of course!’
so, i told her i’d wait in the car till it did.

obviously, i didn’t quite have a grasp on how time worked…

in fact, my mom was telling me the other day that i used to ask her when i could see various family members and so she would show me on a calendar. she would count the days and at the end of the day she would X that day out to show that it had passed. well, i’m crafty. and impatient. so, i thought i could speed things along by Xing out subsequent days. she tried to explain to me that it wasn’t possible to do that, but i would just look at her absurdly and pull out my trusty (permanent) marker to prove to her that it could be done. she just didn’t know!

i’ve always been impatient. i want what i want and i want it N-O-W. my mom said i destroyed every calendar in our home with my markers and colorful X’s.

this makes me laugh because i’m still a fan of paper calendars and scribbling all over them. yes, i have a smart phone and i keep my digital calendar updated, but i insist on having a paper version as well…

i like that some things never change.

Posted on by shirindawna

i guess he was right.

way back when, i dated this guy that said if i ever cut my hair, he’d break up with me. i thought this was stupid so i chopped off my ass length hair (to chin length – i was dumb & young) and never called him again.

well, i took my dog to a new groomer over the weekend. the groomer decided to take her liberties with my pup’s adorable mane and turned him into something i can’t even bear to look at.

when i went to go pick him up, there was a creepy little rat looking thing nuzzling my ankles. i wanted to nudge him away until the lady working said ‘aww, you’re excited to see mama!’ ummmmm, WHAT?! i did a double-take. this is MY dog?! no way. couldn’t be. but then upon closer inspection i realized the big puppy dog eyes looking up at me where, in fact, my little pirate’s. i quickly looked away and told myself i wouldn’t have a breakdown at the groomer’s. i slipped the leash on him and briskly walked out to my car with the new and NOT improved pirate trying to keep up. i called my best friend in a panic and tried to get her to agree to adopt him.

she asked for a photo.

i was too embarrassed to send her one…but figured maybe she liked rats and would take this one off my hands.

it was then that it clicked. if i have an ugly child, i won’t love it. i told her this. she insisted that i wouldn’t think my child was ugly.

i disagree.

i sent my bestie a photo of the damage. i haven’t heard from her since.

i finally get what that guy was talking about…i’ve had pirate for 5 years. and i love him like he was my own child…but during this hideous hair stage, i cringe each time he trots his happy little butt up to me.

my advice? think twice when your man doesn’t want you to chop off your hair. i have kept mine long ever since. although, that guy was junk and i’m glad to be rid of him, now that i’ve walked (from the groomer to my car) in his shoes, i finally understand his point of view.

i’m traumatized.

UPDATE: my friend has since called me back.
her: ooooh, poor pirate!
me: poor pirate?! poor ME! i’m the one who has to look at him.

he’s still prancing around thinking he’s the cutest thing on the planet because that’s what he’s been hearing for 5 years. it is no longer true.

at least temporarily.