Posted on by shirindawna · 3 Comments

everything i needed to know about love, i learned on the bachelorette.

i’ve spent the better part of my last 15 years in & out of relationships…

if only the bachelorette were around way back when, i believe i could’ve saved myself a good amount of heartache.

the show teaches you everything you need to know about properly navigating a relationship and what to look for when dating a potential mate. (or 25 of them, simultaneously. in a very accelerated manner.)

some gems:

‘love. it don’t come easy.’

‘i wanna live in a bubble with somebody. i wanna live in some idealistic, unrealistic world where we’re convinced that we’re more in love than any couple who has ever lived.’

‘he could’ve stayed. a real man would’ve moved heaven & earth. he would’ve done everything he could to fight for you…he didn’t. he left.’

the facts:

you have to find a guy that will want to guard & protect your heart. so much that he’ll sneak out to tattoo it on his wrist. (okay, maybe that’s a teeny tiny bit extreme)

if you love having long luscious locks, you gotta spring for the $$$ extensions. sometimes even pro hair people can’t make crap extensions look good.

it doesn’t matter how deep of a connection you feel, if the other party is unavailable, you’re outta luck. (i’m referring to the frye boots that jilly rocked, but this can also be applied elsewhere. obvi)

it is important to handle breakups gracefully. at least when people can see you.

when they leave on their own, they almost always come back.

giving someone a second chance sometimes prolongs a necessary ending.

if he wants to play a song he wrote for you on his guitar, RUN. he is going to break your heart. and maybe sleep with your best friend.

you either know or you don’t. there is no middle ground ~ i’m a firm believer that love is a pretty cut & dry reality. it’s difficult, yes. it’s confusing, yes. but, it’s either there and right or it’s not. if you need to sell yourself to someone, you should probably just go shopping elsewhere.

if they don’t give you flowers, they don’t see a future with you.

sometimes you need to put a period where someone has left an ellipses, there is no such thing as: the end…

Posted on by shirindawna

don’t touch me there.

i’m a freak. i CANNOT stand it when people touch my face.

i think it is absolutely disgusting and i get completely creeped out.

my natural instinct is usually to slap the hand away…but sometimes that isn’t totally appropriate. sometimes, you’re mid-smooch with a new boy who you might not want to completely scare off by showing him your freakish tendencies. (at least not yet…)

obviously this has me thinking about kissing and boys…

which is sorta silly because i haven’t had anything more than a platonic or a family kiss in…

well, since the last time i did.

maybe that’s not so silly, maybe that’s the root of it?

who knows?

but onto the smooches.

kissing is a BIG thing for me. when i think about being interested in a guy, that’s one of the first things i imagine: smooching him. if the thought doesn’t sound as delicious to me as a peanut butter smoothie, then i cut him loose immediately.

kisses say a lot: how a guy kisses you, when a guy kisses you, where a guy kisses you, and where a guy’s hands are when he kisses…

if the first thing he does is shove his tongue down my throat, he’s not interested in me, he’s interested in what he hopes to do to me. next, please!

a guy that is interested in kissing you for the right reasons is going to take his cues from you (and likewise you should take your cues from him). i think the perfect smooch uses the tongue like an exclamation point. as an accent in the right areas. some paragraphs have more exclamation points than others. some have none at all, it depends on the kiss and the mood. as you can tell from my writing, it’s rare that you ever see “!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” written on the page (though that can come through in my personality). therefore, smoochers styled like that aren’t my thing (the exclamation points should be implied, not forced down my throat, thankyouverymuch!). those kinds of kisses completely ruin it for me. it goes from a fun smooch session, to playing defense. defense isn’t meant to be a part of kissing.

which brings me back to my original point…hands on my face. i shouldn’t need to smack your hand away. so, DO NOT TOUCH MY FACE.

i admit…it’s sweet and romantic and can feel terribly intimate, but as a general rule – i HATE it.

though, i confess…
once upon a time, in a dream, i met a boy.
when he kissed me he touched my face.
surprisingly, i didn’t hate it.
my bestie told me to marry him.
obvi, that didn’t happen. (because. not real life)
but i guess that’s what i should be looking for now…
someone whose hands are not repulsive to my face?

Posted on by shirindawna

gravity & vulnerability.

while catching up with a friend today & discussing the latest & greatest in our lives, we began discussing writing and she confessed that she wasn’t keeping up with her blog because she had so much to say and didn’t want people to know it was her.

i shared with her that i’ve always felt that exposing yourself via writing makes you vulnerable, but told her that’s kinda what i love about it.

her response blew me away: that’s why you’re so good at loving people and opening your heart. you’re willing and excited by vulnerability.

in light of recent events, it was exactly what i needed to hear.

she then said: most people run away from that.

and it got me thinking…why? why does that happen?

the way i see it: you want to meet someone, you want to fall in love, but you know the risks that lead to love… they may cause pain, and it’s the fear of that pain, that’s what holds you back.

but it isn’t a question of whether you can or can’t push forward. taking a risk is like jumping off a cliff. it’s a leap into the unknown.
with absolutely no guarantees.

take the leap.

see what comes.

decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it.

‘you’re neither friend nor foe though i can’t seem to let you go’

Posted on by shirindawna

always a dreamer…

if you know me at all, you know i tend to have really vivid dreams.

they are often really random.

the other night, i dreamt that i was making out with chris brown (sloppy smoocher, by the way).

oddly enough, i’ve never been attracted to him (i’m strictly an usher girl), but we were dancing, i’m a sucker for a great dancer and he went for it…i let it happen.

mid-make out things took a turn for awkward so i pulled away & said ‘let’s make this less weird’

he nodded.

i followed up with ‘are you going to hit me now?’

it’s good to know that even in my dreams i like to make things super uncomfortable.

Posted on by shirindawna

he’s using his little head.

i was talking to a friend last night about a girl that’s he’s sorta interested in. we were discussing the potential of a relationship with said girl…

him: a big part of me thinks, no it wouldn’t work out, but there is a little part that thinks, maybe it could?
me: yeah, i think i know what that ‘little’* part is.
him: (laughing) you’re a bitch!
me: i think i’m hilarious.

same friend. different convo about another girl. she’s interested. he’s just not that into her.

him: she gets off work at 6:00pm and calls me at 6:01pm. she leaves her mom’s house at 7:30pm and by 7:31pm my phone is ringing. i just don’t know what to do. she wants to hang out ALL THE TIME.
me: yes, you do. but it’s nice to have someone around who really likes you…when it’s convenient for you.
him: you’re absolutely right. it is nice.
me: cut her off.

*disclaimer: i don’t actually know about the specifics of his anatomy. the word ‘little’ is being used figuratively only. (but he’s got huge hands. and feet)