Posted on by shirindawna

that same look.

my boy bestie has often mentioned that he thinks it’s interesting that i manage to stay friends (or at the very least, friendly) with most of my exes.

the way i see it, why wouldn’t you? once the feelings are gone and you no longer feel a magnetic pull towards the person, shouldn’t a friendship remain?

obviously, i know this isn’t always the case. both parties need to be on the same page. and sometimes there is lingering hurt…or feelings.

my very favorite ex-boyfriend is still in my life. i was very curious to see how he’d interact with my current boyfriend, since that situation can have a high potential for awkwardness. naturally, they get along great… i mean, they clearly have things in common. one thing, anyway.

it can be weird being the common denominator in a friendship type situation. exes aside, you never really know how people are going to mesh.

a few days after my old bf met my new & shiny bf he text me.

old: your man seems great. he’s a good guy and really into you, i can tell.
me: how?
old: he has that same look.
me: what look?
old: the one i had. he’s in awe of you.

it’s so SO mutual.

Posted on by shirindawna

time warp.

i’ve always loved the adolescence of a relationship.

i wish we could bottle those feelings elicited in the beginning. the butterflies, the giggles, the desire to talk all night…

sometime back i was describing to a married friend how 4 hour conversations fly by and seem like 30 minutes.

he wisely advised me to enjoy that time…because you never get it back.

he told me once you’re married conversations go like this:

‘hi’
‘hi’
‘what do you want for dinner?’
‘i don’t know’
‘ok, i’ll figure it out’
‘ok, see you in 20 minutes’
‘bye’
‘bye’

the kicker was him saying ‘and oddly enough, that feels like 30 minutes too’

Posted on by shirindawna

bubbly.

when whatshisface on the bachelor said ‘I want to live in a bubble with somebody. I want to live in some unrealistic idealistic bubble where we’re convinced that we are like more in love than couple that ever lived.’ i thought it was sorta sweet, kinda silly, certainly unrealistic, and more than a little idealistic.

until i realized…that’s exactly where i am.

in a room full of people, my mister is usually the one that has my full attention. and the one i most enjoy talking at.

i’ve heard it said that during the early stages of romantic love, your brain gets flooded with all kinds of hormones – it mimics someone that’s on cocaine. so, let’s blame biology for my occasional antisocial tendencies…

i mean, we’re not at the point where we embrace the public grope like we’ve just entered a competition for public fondling and the grand prize is more of each other (yet).

i wish i could be apologetic for it (that’s a lie), but i’ve waited a long time to feel like this and i love it.

i’ll be the first to admit – it’s gross (to others), it’s annoying (for everyone else), and it reeks of all that mushy stuff movies are made of, but there is no place else i want to be. ever.

cheers to that.

bring on the bubbly.

Posted on by shirindawna

the eternal optimist.

once upon a time there was a boy (or several boys…) i used to write to. this morning i read some old heartfelt emails. it made me nostalgic. not for the boy, but for the writing…

and for the encouragement he gave me. he pushed me to write. all the time. an excerpt: ‘you crack me up, and you make me sad, and that is what a storyteller does. stick with it boots. everybody has bad days. but the good days are the ones that matter more.’

there are so many things I want to be doing: writing, reading, resting, romancing, relaxing (apparently anything that starts with an ‘r’ and I’m there.)

i am doing some of these things, and waiting for others to come along, and dreaming about the possibility of the impossible, but it’s a tough place to be.

dreaming.

it reminds me of a night out with my boy bestie (the details of which i will not share…because of man code. or bestie code. or whatever means i won’t blab on a bestie)

he was talking about how he was unable to carry a conversation with a certain very pretty girl… and we talked about how some people just aren’t good listeners. and we lamented about how it’s hard to meet good people. and then i looked up and to the right and saw the moon. it was no super moon, but it was still gorgeous. and i looked at him and said ‘well, at least the moon is still beautiful’ and he laughed at me and said ‘you really are the eternal optimist. we’re talking about how people are mostly shitty and you start spouting about how nature is pretty.’

it’s true though, isn’t it? there’s beauty in everything…and maybe a not-so-great boy drifts out of your life so a perfect one can walk in?

it’s a nice thought.

Posted on by shirindawna · 10 Comments

research.

WARNING: HIGH SNARK & CRAZY FACTOR

proceed at your own risk. i’m 2 cups of coffee in and i have 2 bar method classes under my belt.

some call it ‘stalking,’ i call it ‘love.’

my best friend recently met a girl. he likes the girl. he told me her name and within 5 minutes, i had messaged him 3 photos of her.

i won’t lie, i engage in some mild to moderate facebook stalking from time to time.

the victims are typically:
a) ex-boyfriends
b) ex-girlfriends of current boyfriends

i can openly admit this now since the guy is no longer in my life…but i was on a mission one day to track down a photo of the guy i was dating’s (we’ll call him ernie*) ex-girlfriend. let me walk you through the crazy of my mind.

my first course of action was to find ernie on facebook, which i couldn’t do…he’s unsearchable. (so am i, sneaky move). i’m smarter than that though, i found his sister. which led me to him, HA!

and then, i looked through each of their friend lists to find friends they had in common. i didn’t know his ex-girlfriends name. just where she lived and her ethnicity. lo and behold, after a few clicks: i found my girl.

and then another dead end. her photo was of a child**. maybe a niece? sorta cute. mostly irritating.

but now i was armed with a name. so, i did what any intelligent researcher would do. i googled imaged her. no luck. couldn’t figure out which cute or not-so-cute face it could be.

after some more hunting i figured out where she worked…

…found her linkedin profile. and no photo! (don’t judge me, i am CURIOUS)

seriously, this chick was killing me.

although, during my delving i did find one of his previous ex girlfriends. currently married and still very much interested in him…she was on a reality tv show. not that cute (she didn’t hurt my eyes, but i am definitely easier to gaze upon). (i’m allowed to be a snot, she was bratty about me dating him ~ jealousssssssss. i am seriously snarky today). i felt fully justified in my scrutiny of her since she asked him for a photo of me and after being grouchy about someone dating her ex, she finally conceded to my looks. i mean, when your ex-boyfriend dates someone who is cuter than you there isn’t much you can say…

and then with a more recent victim, i sent the following email to a friend: i’m stalking their facebook. unblocked photos. i’m making a ‘research’ folder and emailing you photos when i’m done.

the internet is so bad for me!

i think it is evident that i am a lunatic.

…though an honest one.

*NOT his real name
**she has since updated her facebook profile pic to one of her, and i’m not impressed. or disgusted. he could do better. in fact, he did.