Posted on by shirindawna

you’re so lame, you probably think this blog is about you.

this one goes out to the women who treat their relationships like maximum-security prisons—complete with lockdowns, surveillance, and absolutely no visitors from the opposite sex. these are the ones who seem to think that letting their partner have a female friend will somehow send the entire relationship into a tailspin. it’s like they believe their man is one conversation away from running off into the sunset with someone else. spoiler alert: if your relationship is that fragile, it’s not the friend that’s the problem—it’s you.

these women act like the mere existence of another woman is a threat, like they’ve never heard of trust. instead of building a relationship based on mutual respect and confidence, they cling tighter than a toddler holding onto a security blanket, side-eyeing any female who dares to exist in their man’s orbit. unpopular opinion: it’s not the friend they don’t trust—it’s themselves. deep down, they know their insecurity is the only thing standing between them and a healthy relationship, but instead of working on that, they’d rather play relationship cop.

they’ll stalk their partner’s texts, throw passive-aggressive comments at any woman within a 5-mile radius, and claim it’s about “boundaries.” girl, no—it’s about insecurity. if you’re more focused on who your partner is texting than on how to actually communicate, that’s a you problem. and don’t get me started on the whole “women can’t be friends with men” nonsense. if you genuinely believe that, then maybe the issue isn’t the friendship—it’s your fragile sense of self-worth.

at the end of the day, if you can’t trust your partner to have friends of the opposite sex, what you’ve got isn’t love—it’s a hostage situation. newsflash: no amount of policing is going to stop someone from leaving if they want to. so, maybe instead of treating every woman like the enemy, take a good look in the mirror and figure out why you’re so terrified of letting your partner have a life outside of you. because the real issue isn’t her—it’s the insecurity you’re not willing to face.

allegedly, of course.

this is all purely hypothetical.

Posted on by shirindawna

more than meets the eye.

so, i am a bit (read: big, huge, giant) of a hypocrite.

i will admit. i used to cheat. on everyone.

granted…it was always on my way out of a relationship, but still. it doesn’t make it right and i don’t make excuses for my own bad behavior. it was wrong. i was wrong. and i should’ve ended one relationship before starting another. sadly, i was young and dumb and guilty of the occasional overlap.

once a cheater always a cheater? i don’t think so. at least i hope not. the recent media coverage of philandering husbands has really helped put things in perspective. i mean, what’s the point? why get married if you’re not ready to be with just one person?

what has changed me? empathy. (translation: it happened to me. and it HURT). from there i morphed into the jealous girlfriend…to the ‘do whatever you want’ girlfriend…to the ‘do what i tell you’ girlfriend..to whoever i am now (read: i’d like to explain but it’s constantly changing/evolving). the way i see it: i’d never do anything i wasn’t comfortable with my partner doing. and if he doesn’t feel the same way and is willing to jeopardize ‘all of this’ (no time for modesty, i’m the total package) then he doesn’t deserve me.

so there it is. a confession and a lesson. happy transforming!

Posted on by shirindawna

losing faith.

lately i’ve been bombarded with stories about cheaters/liars/jerkface boys. it makes me so so sad.

‘i want so badly to believe that there is truth and love is real’

i don’t understand. what’s the point of being in a relationship if you’re gonna cheat and lie and run around? if that’s what you wanna do, go be single! i just don’t get it.

in all fairness, i’ve been guilty of boyfriend borrowing. it wasn’t intentional. and i was young. and selfish. and very, very different. now, i know better. (read: got a taste of my own medicine and it was BITTER!)

in any case, i don’t condone cheating. or lying (unless it’s absolutely necessary. for instance: no, i’ve had those boots forever! i didn’t just buy them yesterday during my lunch break).

one (read: several) of my ex-boyfriends think it’s okay to text me obscene comments about umm…you know…the ‘stuff’ (mom, dad, and current boyfriend: i have NEVER done anything inappropriate, not till i’m married, i promise!) anyway, it’s gross. pathetic. and really really sucky for their new girls. at one point i may have found it flattering. i mean, i love the idea that my exes are all sitting at home crying over losing the best thing they ever had. but now, i just feel horribly for their new girlfriends. and of course it sends me down the whole ‘was he doing this while we were together?!’ path. and that road is just ugly. so, i’m staying off it.

but seriously, all the stories about liars and cheaters make me sick to my stomach. and make me want to never get married or trust anyone. it’s sad.

please world, stop making me sad.