Posted on by shirindawna · 2 Comments

got you last!

my brother is fifteen years older than i am. for as long as i can remember i’ve called him ‘nerd’ and somehow over the years he decided that ‘nurse’ was the female form of nerd so that’s how he tends to refer to his darling little sister.

my brother and i play this game. ‘i got you last’ – it’s similar to ‘tag, you’re it’ except we only play as we’re leaving each other. never when we’re just hanging out…(cuz that wouldn’t make sense) the point is to be the last one to touch the other.

the game always escalates quickly and no matter how high my heels are or how full i am after dinner, i ALWAYS feel compelled to run after him to get that last hit in. clearly, our game has resulted in crazy chases up and down stairs, object throwing, and (my personal favorite) the time i thought he left and was really hiding near my front door to get me.

we’ve been playing this game for years and years. and i never thought anything of it until i had a friend around to witness it. it occurred to me that perhaps playing our version of tag at 30 & 45 isn’t normal…but it’s playful, fun, whimsical, silly, and always makes me laugh. just like my favorite person in the world.

even if he is a big nerd.

Posted on by shirindawna

thankful.

that i have the best friends a girl could dream of.

that i get to see all my favorite people in the same month as my birthday.

that 30 is far better (dare i say, amazing?!) than i had ever imagined.

and that it’s cold enough to wear boots daily.

Posted on by shirindawna

my 2 dads: a tribute to the best and the bonus.

i’m a very lucky girl. in the dad department, i scored BIG!

my mom and i have certainly had our issues (more on that later. maybe.), but she picked me out the 2 best dads on the planet. i seriously don’t think she could’ve done better for me (and my brother. though, he’s even luckier than i am cuz he gets both dads AND me as a sissy!)

my dad is the best. he’s generous, loving, and would do anything for me. he’s taught me about unconditional love, math (against my will), and continues to remind me of my brilliance daily. he’s always there when i need him and has done everything in his ability to make my life easier. plus, my love of books is due to him (and if you know me AT ALL, you know how i love love love the books). he always encouraged me to read and was always willing to buy me any book i ever wanted (shel silverstein, i love you! but not more than my dads). if my heart could take a human form, it’d likely look identical to him. my friends are constantly begging for him to adopt them. sorry folks, he’s all mine!

my bonus dad is the greatest. he’s patient, kind, calm, compassionate, and somehow managed to stick around through my bratty adolescence. he is the perfect compliment to my nutty mom. it doesn’t even feel right to call him a step-dad because he’s so much more than that, hence why i refer to him as bonus dad. i can barely remember a time when he wasn’t part of our lives. he was there when i was learning to drive (i remember him making me drive the car in reverse up a dirt road hill because he said most accidents happened while in reverse), he’s the one that taught me how to change my oil (i don’t remember how to do this, but i tell people that i do, for street cred), he didn’t say a single negative thing when i was going through my i love jim morrison phase and wrote ‘jim morrison is god’ (blasphemous, i KNOW! shoot me, i was young) in his birthday card instead of something heartfelt (sorry about that. my mom yelled at me about it and i STILL feel badly), and he’s always been a great sounding board (he gives damn good advice too, without sounding judge-y. he’s pretty remarkable). i hope to be half the parent he didn’t have to be.

i know i don’t thank them enough for the roles they’ve had in making me who i am. and for helping me develop into the amazing, lovely, and incredibly intelligent person i’ve blossomed into. so, here it is: thank you both. you mean the world to me. and i love you, more than i’ll ever be able to express.

(thanks mom.)

Posted on by shirindawna · 1 Comment

sticks and stones.

let’s be honest. (i always am. well, mostly always) sticks and stones can hurt and all, but it’s the words of the people i care about that really stay with me. and that really have the power to bruise. or heal. or make you fall in love. or cause you to fall out of love. or break your heart. or stop the pain.

they’re magic. and everyone knows, magic isn’t always good.

words are powerful. anyone who says they’re not is:

a) silly
b) wrong
c) a bad writer
d) possibly all of the above

exhibit a: words of encouragement

i heard a story last night. it was about me. my cousin’s boyfriend was telling me about a story my dad had told him. my pop-sicle said that he would’ve given up his fight with cancer after his massive surgery if it hadn’t been for me. my dad said that the moment i crawled into his hospital bed and said ‘please don’t give up,’ he knew he had to hang on.

exhibit b: words of inspiration

see exhibit a. (yes, this one was just filler. so what? it’s my world. i make the rules around here.)

exhibit c: words of wisdom

don’t spit into the wind. (thanks, jim croce)

one of the best pieces of advice i’ve ever received came from one of my very best friends (yes, i’ve mentioned it before, but it really bears repeating). the advice came at the perfect time for me. i was 23. engaged (i’ll tell you about it later). living in kansas (you don’t even want to know). and terribly unhappy. i missed my friends. i missed my family. and i missed my independence. she said that we only get 80-some years to do all the things we want in life and considering we were already a quarter through, we didn’t have time to waste in unhappy situations. she was right. i wasn’t happy. and i deserve to be. we all do. so, i cut my losses. called off a wedding. and came home. on my little bravery kick, i also told my dad i had a tattoo. i actually have two, but i only told him about the one that he could potentially see 😉

exhibit d: song lyrics

i love music. i love how it can cheer me up. make me sad. make me dance. make me cry. make me miss someone. make me happy they’re gone. make me wish they’d never left. (music holds it’s own magic, but the lyrics…that’s what we’re discussing today, kids)

sooo many to mention. so, i’ll touch on a personal favorite. since it incorporates several of my favorite themes (fantasy, creativity, love ~ if you must ask): ‘if you weren’t real, i’d make you up. now.’ so simple. so true. and damn, i wish i’d wrote it! i’m so tickled at the thought of bringing ‘him’ to life, except guess what?! he’s real! ahh, bliss.

exhibit e: words from the heart (my personal favorite)

this one can encompass all the aforementioned categories. this is the one i look forward to when i get a birthday card, a letter, a phone call, a text (don’t laugh. i’ve fallen in love based on witty texts).

boys, if you’re gifted with words (you know who you are). please write. and even if you’re not, try. because we love it. because we eat it up. and because it makes us love you. trust me.

words: they’re my kryptonite.