contemplating.

i love the rain.

i love feeling inspired.

and i love any excuse to throw on boots.

here’s something very melancholy about the rain…and yet i find it soothing.

i’ve had gordon lightfoot on repeat. he’s a cynic. i like that coupled with the rain.

rain is good for inspiration. or maybe it’s sadness? the rain made me nostalgic…and yet much to my surprise, i didn’t get stuck in that emotion. i guess i shouldn’t be surprised. i’m not meant to be sad. but something about gloomy weather has always made me gloomy on the inside. today is an exception. and why shouldn’t it be? after all, i have pink rain boots. and i love having an excuse to wear them.

i wish i could stay in bed and write all day. i believe that’s what rainy days were meant for…reading and writing.

i’m contemplative today. and i like it.

everything i needed to know about love, i learned on the bachelorette.

i’ve spent the better part of my last 15 years in & out of relationships…

if only the bachelorette were around way back when, i believe i could’ve saved myself a good amount of heartache.

the show teaches you everything you need to know about properly navigating a relationship and what to look for when dating a potential mate. (or 25 of them, simultaneously. in a very accelerated manner.)

some gems:

‘love. it don’t come easy.’

‘i wanna live in a bubble with somebody. i wanna live in some idealistic, unrealistic world where we’re convinced that we’re more in love than any couple who has ever lived.’

‘he could’ve stayed. a real man would’ve moved heaven & earth. he would’ve done everything he could to fight for you…he didn’t. he left.’

the facts:

you have to find a guy that will want to guard & protect your heart. so much that he’ll sneak out to tattoo it on his wrist. (okay, maybe that’s a teeny tiny bit extreme)

if you love having long luscious locks, you gotta spring for the $$$ extensions. sometimes even pro hair people can’t make crap extensions look good.

it doesn’t matter how deep of a connection you feel, if the other party is unavailable, you’re outta luck. (i’m referring to the frye boots that jilly rocked, but this can also be applied elsewhere. obvi)

it is important to handle breakups gracefully. at least when people can see you.

when they leave on their own, they almost always come back.

giving someone a second chance sometimes prolongs a necessary ending.

if he wants to play a song he wrote for you on his guitar, RUN. he is going to break your heart. and maybe sleep with your best friend.

you either know or you don’t. there is no middle ground ~ i’m a firm believer that love is a pretty cut & dry reality. it’s difficult, yes. it’s confusing, yes. but, it’s either there and right or it’s not. if you need to sell yourself to someone, you should probably just go shopping elsewhere.

if they don’t give you flowers, they don’t see a future with you.

sometimes you need to put a period where someone has left an ellipses, there is no such thing as: the end…

the nail in the coffin.

i’ve had an ongoing debate with my bestie for a couple years. the topic is so silly i’m (almost) embarrassed to confess it: it’s about who would be who if our group of friends were the characters in sex and the city.

our charlotte is obvious.

and miranda hasn’t been too much of a debate.

if you ask me, this bestie is more of a samantha than a carrie…but her husband begs to differ. he marked me as samantha and her as a carrie.

the thing is, that makes no sense to me…i’m a mostly a prude when it comes to dating and i raaaaarely give up the good-good (which isn’t very carrie, but it’s even less samantha!)

…in my head (and just about every other girl, i’m sure – but this is MY blog, i get to be self-indulgent), i’m SO carrie. in SO many ways.

i have always identified with carrie. she’s all about opening your heart and your mind at the same time. she’s witty, she’s sharp, she’s quirky, but still sexy – in a very accessible, believable way (no time for modesty). carrie and my “storylines” have coincided as i have watched (and re-watched) the show. i feel the inevitable pull from older influences, (and society in general) to “settle down,” whatever that means. and yet, for carrie and i, marriage, babies, and “happily ever after” is not the be-all, end-all in life.

yes ~ i’m mouthy, inappropriate, crass, and impulsive, but at the end of the day, i’m an old-fashioned girl, just like ms bradshaw. we’re sentimental and reflective. we believe in the proverbial ‘one,’ we believe in romance, and most of all: we believe in love.

all women are complex, but i relate to carrie a lot in the way that her needs and feelings are often conflicted and result in charged and sometimes difficult relationships with men. she’s had to know when to walk away, and it’s bittersweet. it’s never easy to strike a balance. not just anyone will do…

when searching for a soulmate, one can never be too picky. and so continues the endless search. carrie was looking for love, real love. “ridiculous, consuming, can’t live without each other love.”

and…
so.
am.
i.

but those things are mostly generalizations…so, let’s get to the nitty gritty. (here’s a short recap):

we’re both writers.
we’re both clothing addicts.
we’re quirky.
we’re neurotic.
we’re both left-handed.

when my last boyfriend and i broke up, he left me the lovely post-it that you see in the top of this post. umm…berger much?! my bestie & i had a nice laugh at this when it happened. a good hard, belly laugh. and we agreed then that i get to be carrie.

but it just got better. so, of course, i HAD to share. i recently heard from my first boyfriend (also my first ever smooch), and he asked me out (i really hope he doesn’t read my blog). after my butterflies subsided, i immediately thought of the ‘boy, interrupted’ episode of sex and the city. and about what carrie said ‘seriously. if i had the guy in high school, what have i been doing for the last twenty years?’

i called my bestie and we agreed that the nail was in the coffin:
i.
am.
carrie.

bummer that her husband married a whore. (or maybe not?!) 😉

a moral dilemma.

i have a shopping problem. there i said it. i admit it. i own it (or want to – if i can wear it!). it’s no secret that the shopaholic books are my absolute favorite (before they ruined them by making that atrocious movie!). sadly, i find them completely relatable, hilarious, and oh-so-very-true! (sophie kinsella ~ call me! let’s be bff.) anyway, i digress…

now i have an even bigger problem (no, it isn’t my lack of employment. or funds). one of my favorite (and ridiculously overpriced) stores recently made an error (in my favor ~ i know, i thought that was a myth that only happened in ‘chance’ cards in monopoly) and i now own a pair of $100 pants that i didn’t pay for. i can’t bring myself to wear the pants…and i haven’t yet taken them back (i know i should…right?!) so, what do i do?

i mean, i spend lots and lots of money at this store and they do have an outrageous mark up on their items…
but, i can’t reconcile that justification with the fact that i know the right thing to do would be to take them back…
oooor do i just pay it forward and give the pants to a friend??

help,
a confused shopaholic.

boots. boots! Boots. BOOTS. BOOTS!

i’m obsessed. i’ve always loved boots, but this year i just can’t get enough (and i still love depeche mode, so what?). it’s tough to find the perfect boots, they’ve got to fit in the leg as well as the foot…but when you do ~ ahh, bliss! you feel like a sexy cinderella.

i’ve had cowboys, ankle ones, high ones, lace up, fur lined, studded, buckled, flats, hiking, rain ones, suede, and leather. so comfy (sometimes). so versatile (ALWAYS).

boots are the bessssst. i love wearing them with skinny jeans, leggings, sweater dresses, shorts and tights, miniskirts, a-lines, and nothing at all 😉

the only thing that gets me through the cold of the brutal san diego winters is knowing that i can rock my boots. all. the. time!

brrrrrrring on the brrs. i got my boots, boots, Boots, BOOTS, BOOTS!