Posted on by shirindawna · 1 Comment

it’s raining, it’s pouring.

i can’t sleep.

as i lie in bed & listen to the sky dump water, i can’t help but think of the boy that used to sleep next to me. he loved to fall asleep to the sound of the rain. how ironical that it’s now the reason i’m unable to sleep…

as i type that i realize it isn’t entirely true. i had trouble falling asleep earlier. and the sky hadn’t started crying yet.

i was thinking about a boy then too…as i often do. not one from my past this time, i don’t make a habit of visiting there. one from my present. and hopefully my future. i feel anxious typing that. like i’m jinxing something.

i shared that sentiment with my bestie today. i told her i’m happy for what i have today & am not brave enough to wish for more.

her reply was ‘you don’t have to be brave to wish for something.’

so, i’m wishing…that he’ll be the next one i listen to the rain with. and if i’m very lucky, the last.

it feels brave to admit. even if it isn’t.

Posted on by shirindawna · 2 Comments

urban allure.

it takes a lot to win me over. and i’ve been crushing. hard!

i’m easy to be with, but hard to get. i can fall in love with a boy or i can fall in love with a song, but it isn’t a person or tune i’m thinking of tonight: it’s a place.

anyone who knows me knows my heart belongs to san diego, but recently i’m finding other cities very alluring…

my two recent trips to the city by the bay have reaffirmed my love for san francisco. the city that almost had me for college. initially, i thought it was just infatuation. i’m often rash & impulsive, but this has been a long time coming. i think it may be time to explore my feelings. i’ve bounced around the idea of a power move for long enough. it’s time to take that leap. and say yes to life.

the east coast feel of this west coast city has captured my heart & for the first time in a long time, i had trouble saying goodbye.

i’m headed home, but it feels like i left my heart in san francisco. as the wheels of the plane touch the ground, i’m typically overcome with a sense of calm. san diego has always felt right. this time it feels different. it feels like i’m meant to be someplace else.

sdinsf doesn’t have the same ring to it, but i have to follow my heart. and i trust that the universe will take care of the rest.

Posted on by shirindawna · 3 Comments

he ain’t worth missing?

of course he is!

but don’t get it twisted.

you can miss someone, still not want to be with them & think they’re not right for you.

it’s nice to be nostalgic.

and an emotional text fueled by the sunday night blues (coupled with the fact that you’ve only been kissed twice in six months) makes for amusing reading in the light of day.

happy monday.

Posted on by shirindawna

oh boy.

i’m single again.

which means i’m dating. and guys are weird. and also amazing. and strange. and dreamy.

it’s no secret that i’m hoping to find my mr. forever. and if the recent boys are any indication of what’s out there, i’m simultaneously nervous and excited. i’ve been lukewarm about the whole dating thing recently…i like being single because it lets me focus on my favorite thing, me.

my absolute favorite thing about dating (besides the possibility of love) are the stories. every date ends in a fabulous story that i get to share with my best friends. (and you)

for example, there was one boy whose calls i avoided for over a year (if this sounds like it might be you. please stop reading. seriously. stop.) and then one day i decided maybe i wrote him off too quickly…so, we went out. (did i mention he lives over an hour away and drove down here just to take me out? i called it sweet, my brother called it desperate) regardless, it was a lovely time. he was considerate, nice, made corny jokes, opened my door for me, let me hide behind him during the scary parts of the haunted house, and didn’t try once to smooch me (which would have totally scared me off, i’m a little skiddish). so, i went out with him again. and (here’s where it gets good) he downloaded every single P!nk album ever made because he knew she’s my favorite. umm…trying too hard? now, i’m a big big fan of music…and i’ve been won over more than once by a mix tape, but this was too much. and then it got worse. he turned out to be one of those people that agrees with everything you say…doesn’t really form his own opinions. i was annoyed within 10 minutes. i found him completely obnoxious. which is unfortunate because he genuinely is a nice guy. boring. but nice. but i’m looking for a hell of a lot more than just ‘nice’.

then, there’s the dreamboat that i met over 6 months ago. i was involved at the time, so nothing happened. (i’m a good girlfriend) but we reconnected (thank you, facebook!) and he’s the perfect blend of sweetheart and asshole. intelligent, attractive, funny, and smooches like a dream. it’s rare for me to click with someone, so when i do – i don’t take it lightly. i’m not doodling his name in my journal yet, but he’s been taking up a lot of real estate in my head recently. and i rather like it.

it’s refreshing to know that there are still boys out there who can make you swoon and make you think. i like being challenged and i love me a smart boy (especially when he’s toned, tan, fit, and ready). i’m thankful that in the course of a week i’ve gone from lukewarm to hot for someone.

and grateful that when it comes to love (or like), i’m always optimistic.