Posted on by shirindawna · 2 Comments

happy birthday month to me.

it’s the start of the month that marks the last year of my twenties.

seriously? when did that happen? where have i been? oh yeah, spain, kansas, d.c., key west, italy, almost cabo, vegas, nyc, mexico, monterey, fresno, palm springs, around the block, stuck in my head, the men’s locker room, and a couple other places…

it seems like yesterday when my best friend, christina, and i were tramping it up in vegas sitting on the laps of the the guys with the rock n’ roll good looks. that was EIGHT years ago. 8! really? geez. i’ve done far less with a decade than i anticipated.

some highlights. i’ve:
been to spain.
seen the running of the bulls.
had a boyfriend cheat on me.
fallen in love with san sebastian.
cried over a boy on september 11th instead of the towers.
terrorized vegas almost every weekend of 2002.
became an english major.
had my heart broken. it hurt.
done new year’s eve in times square.
cheated on a boyfriend.
gotten engaged.
lived in kansas.
broken someone’s heart.
gotten my nose pierced.
watched one of my best friends get married.
been to key west. twice.
learned to surf.
visited chicago with my best friends.
had cosmetic surgery. (yes, my nose is custom. i’m persian. it’s expected)
gotten my nose re-pierced.
traveled throughout italy with my mom.
moved in with a boyfriend.
failed at my relationship.
failed a college course.
graduated college.
scored a big-girl job.
adopted the cutest pup on the planet.
failed to train the cutest pup on the planet.
failed to cry for almost an entire year.
cried at everything for weeks.
fallen in love.
fallen out of love.
fallen in love again.
gone skydiving with my brother.
written a love letter.
written a like letter.
hurt a friend.
watched my dad battle cancer.
watched a friend lose a dad to cancer.
lost my last grandparent to cancer.
watched britney in concert three times.
became pals with cuba gooding jr.
made an ass of myself in front of usher.
stalked jt. (and britney)
baked an amazing cheesecake.
been thrown a surprise party.
peed my pants.
listened to a friend in an abusive relationship.
started a blog.

i’m having major anxiety about the start of my last year of my twenties. there’s SO much i still want to do. how in the world do you fit it all in before you die?!

i’m having so much more trouble with this year than any of the previous ones. obvi, i can’t do anything about it. and besides, ‘age only matters if you’re a cheese.’ but still, the years go by quickly. and the days so slowly…go figure.

Posted on by shirindawna · 1 Comment

i’d do anything for love.

i’m a giver.

in a relationship (and i don’t just mean romantic), i will give and give and give…

it’s just what i do.

my ex-bf said it makes me who i am and it’s what makes me comfortable in my skin. i don’t know about the last part, but the way i see it. if i can help someone i care about, why wouldn’t i?

the problem i’ve seen with givers (and i may be projecting a little here…) is knowing your limits. i’m typically great with boundaries and limits…EXCEPT when i’m in love or when dealing with a close friend/family member.

unfortunately, i’ve encountered people who just take. all the time. it’s like they only have a ‘receive’ button – and no ‘send’. these people are exhausting. mentally and emotionally. they’ll drain your energy and your patience. for any relationship to work, there needs to be a back and forth. otherwise, resentment starts to creep in. also, if you’re the only one giving, you’re never allowing the other person to give to the relationship and you aren’t giving yourself a chance to experience the other side.

bottom line: if you’re giving, make sure the other person is too. don’t fall into the trap of dealing with people that deplete your energy, patience, and desire to help others!

now. go forth into the world and make it better!

Posted on by shirindawna

i’m the luckiest girl in the world!

my dad has cancer.

my best friend moved away.
i might be laid off.my latest bout with birth control left me moody, frequently nauseous, broken out, and all around CRAZY.

oh. and i never got the barbie dream house i always wanted.

yet…last night for the first time in a very long time, i took the time to count my blessings. it is an activity i used to practice every night before bed. and every single time, it helps me feel better and put things into perspective. i’m so fortunate in so many ways. and i’m grateful. for everything.
aside from lifting my spirits, it’s actually a fun little game to play (sure beats counting sheep!) alone or take turns with a pal (if you’re sharing the bed with one. i may or may not have been). try it tonight!
Posted on by shirindawna · 1 Comment

forever. for now.

life is seasons.

people change.

feelings shift.


i don’t understand how people can promise forever. honestly, i just don’t get it. i mean, i can’t even be sure of what i’ll want to do tomorrow…let alone next year or twenty years from now. sure, i’ll always love my family and my friends, but i don’t live with them. in a relationship, is there really such a thing as forever?!

of course i want there to be. it’s such a lovely thought. you meet someone, you fall in love, and you stay together. forever.

‘forever – is composed of nows’ emily dickinson

…forever. for now.

Posted on by shirindawna · 1 Comment

on love…

sometimes (often), i mistype things. i was at work one day chatting with my favorite IM buddy and i intended to say something about being in love when i accidentally typed ‘on love.’ and you know what? it actually makes more sense.

you’re not so much ‘in’ love as you are ‘on’ it, like a drug. that’s why coming off it (break ups) are SO hard. love detox. nothing worse.

i won’t get into the whole euphoria, exhilaration aspect of it. because it’s cliched. and i hate cliches. and i know that hating cliches is SO cliched.

anyway, my point is. i’m on love. and it’s delightful. and scary. and seriously makes all your shit come out (read: i’ve got some major issues).