gravity & vulnerability.

while catching up with a friend today & discussing the latest & greatest in our lives, we began discussing writing and she confessed that she wasn’t keeping up with her blog because she had so much to say and didn’t want people to know it was her.

i shared with her that i’ve always felt that exposing yourself via writing makes you vulnerable, but told her that’s kinda what i love about it.

her response blew me away: that’s why you’re so good at loving people and opening your heart. you’re willing and excited by vulnerability.

in light of recent events, it was exactly what i needed to hear.

she then said: most people run away from that.

and it got me thinking…why? why does that happen?

the way i see it: you want to meet someone, you want to fall in love, but you know the risks that lead to love… they may cause pain, and it’s the fear of that pain, that’s what holds you back.

but it isn’t a question of whether you can or can’t push forward. taking a risk is like jumping off a cliff. it’s a leap into the unknown.
with absolutely no guarantees.

take the leap.

see what comes.

decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it.

‘you’re neither friend nor foe though i can’t seem to let you go’

he’s using his little head.

i was talking to a friend last night about a girl that’s he’s sorta interested in. we were discussing the potential of a relationship with said girl…

him: a big part of me thinks, no it wouldn’t work out, but there is a little part that thinks, maybe it could?
me: yeah, i think i know what that ‘little’* part is.
him: (laughing) you’re a bitch!
me: i think i’m hilarious.

same friend. different convo about another girl. she’s interested. he’s just not that into her.

him: she gets off work at 6:00pm and calls me at 6:01pm. she leaves her mom’s house at 7:30pm and by 7:31pm my phone is ringing. i just don’t know what to do. she wants to hang out ALL THE TIME.
me: yes, you do. but it’s nice to have someone around who really likes you…when it’s convenient for you.
him: you’re absolutely right. it is nice.
me: cut her off.

*disclaimer: i don’t actually know about the specifics of his anatomy. the word ‘little’ is being used figuratively only. (but he’s got huge hands. and feet)

it sorta stings.

i find my horoscope annoying today:

A relationship that once held a lot of promise and possibility may seem to be fractured beyond repair. You may believe that there is no way to get beyond a current conflict and return to the fulfilling, enjoyable companionship that you once experienced with this person. But that’s not so. Although the current emotional climate between the two of you may be cold and even hostile, this is not the end of the road. You may need to wait awhile for the tension to die down, but eventually this important friendship will find its way back. Have faith.

(originally published in 2011 and in 2023 i can confirm that the person i read this to be about is back in my life and is a very important friendship)

gtl.

b2b with my besties.

what a difference a year makes.

boys come & boys go, but these girls are constants in my life. and my heart.

(whatchu gonna do with them dimples, though?)