Posted on by shirindawna

the best gift of all.

two years ago, i got the most tragic news. my dad was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer.

it changed my whole world.

for an entire year, i was numb. i didn’t cry. i didn’t feel. i didn’t realize i had completely shut down.

it wasn’t until i met a dear, sweet boy who had experienced love, loss, and lived to tell that i even realized how far removed i was.

he broke my thumb. and broke my heart. wide. open.

he’s no longer in my life, but i think of him every single day. and i’m thankful that even though we didn’t have the ending we once dreamed of, he renewed my hope in love and partnerships. we may not talk. we may not text. but he’ll forever remain in my heart as one of my fondest memories and i wish him all the love and happiness in the world.

merry xxxmas to you. wherever you are.

and thank you. for being my human heater, melting the ice, and breaking down all my walls.

Posted on by shirindawna

9.9 on the gorgeous scale.

sometimes you meet someone and they seem (almost) perfect.

it leaves you baffled. you’re unable to figure out what’s wrong with them…or why in the world they’d be single?

there HAS to be a reason, you just can’t put your finger on it. you run over it and over it in your head…

this weekend i learned a safe assumption: fallen arches.

at least, that’s what’s assumed about me 😉

Posted on by shirindawna

smoke signals & bright colors.

my best friend informed me that my mr. forever is out there looking for me. and i feel awful for him… if you know me at all, you know i live like a granny. in bed by 9pm most nights and when i am out in the world, i am oblivious to most things around me.

in an effort to make my future mister’s life easier (let’s face it, he’s gonna have his hands full with me), i’ve pledged to wear brighter colors and send out smoke signals.

i hope he likes hot pink.

Posted on by shirindawna

oh boy.

i’m single again.

which means i’m dating. and guys are weird. and also amazing. and strange. and dreamy.

it’s no secret that i’m hoping to find my mr. forever. and if the recent boys are any indication of what’s out there, i’m simultaneously nervous and excited. i’ve been lukewarm about the whole dating thing recently…i like being single because it lets me focus on my favorite thing, me.

my absolute favorite thing about dating (besides the possibility of love) are the stories. every date ends in a fabulous story that i get to share with my best friends. (and you)

for example, there was one boy whose calls i avoided for over a year (if this sounds like it might be you. please stop reading. seriously. stop.) and then one day i decided maybe i wrote him off too quickly…so, we went out. (did i mention he lives over an hour away and drove down here just to take me out? i called it sweet, my brother called it desperate) regardless, it was a lovely time. he was considerate, nice, made corny jokes, opened my door for me, let me hide behind him during the scary parts of the haunted house, and didn’t try once to smooch me (which would have totally scared me off, i’m a little skiddish). so, i went out with him again. and (here’s where it gets good) he downloaded every single P!nk album ever made because he knew she’s my favorite. umm…trying too hard? now, i’m a big big fan of music…and i’ve been won over more than once by a mix tape, but this was too much. and then it got worse. he turned out to be one of those people that agrees with everything you say…doesn’t really form his own opinions. i was annoyed within 10 minutes. i found him completely obnoxious. which is unfortunate because he genuinely is a nice guy. boring. but nice. but i’m looking for a hell of a lot more than just ‘nice’.

then, there’s the dreamboat that i met over 6 months ago. i was involved at the time, so nothing happened. (i’m a good girlfriend) but we reconnected (thank you, facebook!) and he’s the perfect blend of sweetheart and asshole. intelligent, attractive, funny, and smooches like a dream. it’s rare for me to click with someone, so when i do – i don’t take it lightly. i’m not doodling his name in my journal yet, but he’s been taking up a lot of real estate in my head recently. and i rather like it.

it’s refreshing to know that there are still boys out there who can make you swoon and make you think. i like being challenged and i love me a smart boy (especially when he’s toned, tan, fit, and ready). i’m thankful that in the course of a week i’ve gone from lukewarm to hot for someone.

and grateful that when it comes to love (or like), i’m always optimistic.

Posted on by shirindawna · 2 Comments

chop wood, carry water.

sometimes it’s hard to find the grace in things.

maybe you lost your job?

maybe your aunt passed away?

maybe your boyfriend broke up with you on the same day as the funeral?

maybe your mom has a tumor on her spinal cord and needs surgery?

maybe you don’t get to stay at the disneyland hotel for your pretty pretty princess party?

maybe zac efron STILL hasn’t called?

maybe ALL these things happened to you…and maybe you’re still smiling. because at the end of the day you know that without a job or relationship to define you, you get to come back to basics. you get to rediscover who you are. and what you love. and that’s where the real grace of the situation lies: self-discovery. and growth. (not taller though, i WISH!)

so, the next time you feel like the hits just keep coming (and they will), focus on the grace in the situation. and i promise you, you’ll crack a smile.

truth is, there’s beauty in the breakdown & if you’re lucky (like i am), you’ll end up with an even foxier date to your best friend’s wedding!