breathe.
dog is my co-pilot.
last week my best friend’s fiance left for his bachelor party.
their dog would NOT stop crying about it. seriously…nonstop howling.
so, i did what any fabulous aunt would do. i grabbed his face, looked him deep in the eyes and said ‘he’s gone. he isn’t coming back. get over it.’
and then my best friend laughed and said, ‘that’s what he’s saying to you’
touche. (and probably the funniest thing i’ve heard in a long time! ex oh, dee dee)
happy birthday, audie!
happy birthday to my bestest audie,
at your bachelorette this weekend you sure were naughty.
it’s your day so don’t be blue,
in a couple months, i’ll be 30 too.
the more candles, the bigger the wish,
wasn’t that gustavo just a dish?!
i hope the most you wish for, is the least you get.
in your shoes, i’d be wishing for a pink barbie corvette.
why barbie? why pink?
seriously audie – less questions! i’m not a shrink.
i tease you cuz i love you, no other reason,
those hollywood men were quite good at the teasin.
my poem ends here because it sucks,
honestly though, i don’t give a…
SDinSF
SDinSF <— click to watch
i turned 29 and my favorite people were there to celebrate with me. and then make a movie of it. (thanks audie!)
an intricate web of daydreams.
ever since i was little (young rather, i’m STILL little) i’ve dreamt of my perfect guy. and of course i have ‘the checklist’. every girl has an idea of what qualities her leading man should possess.
without further ado (and in no particular order):
the proverbial ‘he’ should be:
funny
intelligent
witty
sarcastic
charming
a great listener
imaginative
a wordsmith
thoughtful
a great dancer
considerate
a great storyteller
emotionally capable of intimacy
appreciative
dependable
genuine
patient
honest
loyal
open-minded
tolerant
respectful
nurturing to his loved ones
comfortable in his own skin
able to light up a room with his smile
a big believer in moderation of all things (aside from love. and s-e-x)
will my mr. forever be all these things? who knows? will i even measure up on his list? let’s be honest, i’m no walk in the park.
i’m demanding.
i’m manipulative.
i’m secretly judgmental.
i have trouble forgiving people.
i think too fast and talk too much.
i expect to be your top priority. always.
i have trouble talking about my feelings.
i can make biting, hurtful remarks when my feelings are hurt.
i’ll expect you to want to marry me even though i’m not certain i want to marry you. (or anyone)
whew! it’s a good thing i have a sweet ass.
i’ve said it before…and it bears repeating: i just want someone who makes me the best version of me i can be.
the notion of a checklist is great and all, but i’ve found that ‘good on paper’ isn’t necessary good for me.
love is for people who are realistic…and for people who realize that a real relationship IS the ultimate fantasy.
sdinsd 