everything i needed to know about love, i learned on the bachelorette.

i’ve spent the better part of my last 15 years in & out of relationships…

if only the bachelorette were around way back when, i believe i could’ve saved myself a good amount of heartache.

the show teaches you everything you need to know about properly navigating a relationship and what to look for when dating a potential mate. (or 25 of them, simultaneously. in a very accelerated manner.)

some gems:

‘love. it don’t come easy.’

‘i wanna live in a bubble with somebody. i wanna live in some idealistic, unrealistic world where we’re convinced that we’re more in love than any couple who has ever lived.’

‘he could’ve stayed. a real man would’ve moved heaven & earth. he would’ve done everything he could to fight for you…he didn’t. he left.’

the facts:

you have to find a guy that will want to guard & protect your heart. so much that he’ll sneak out to tattoo it on his wrist. (okay, maybe that’s a teeny tiny bit extreme)

if you love having long luscious locks, you gotta spring for the $$$ extensions. sometimes even pro hair people can’t make crap extensions look good.

it doesn’t matter how deep of a connection you feel, if the other party is unavailable, you’re outta luck. (i’m referring to the frye boots that jilly rocked, but this can also be applied elsewhere. obvi)

it is important to handle breakups gracefully. at least when people can see you.

when they leave on their own, they almost always come back.

giving someone a second chance sometimes prolongs a necessary ending.

if he wants to play a song he wrote for you on his guitar, RUN. he is going to break your heart. and maybe sleep with your best friend.

you either know or you don’t. there is no middle ground ~ i’m a firm believer that love is a pretty cut & dry reality. it’s difficult, yes. it’s confusing, yes. but, it’s either there and right or it’s not. if you need to sell yourself to someone, you should probably just go shopping elsewhere.

if they don’t give you flowers, they don’t see a future with you.

sometimes you need to put a period where someone has left an ellipses, there is no such thing as: the end…

gtl.

b2b with my besties.

what a difference a year makes.

boys come & boys go, but these girls are constants in my life. and my heart.

(whatchu gonna do with them dimples, though?)

please boys, learn to spell.

there is nothing (well, virtually nothing) that turns me off faster than bad grammar or spelling. i completely fail to understand how this epidemic came to be. boys can’t spell (neither can girls for that matter). and it’s sad.

if you’re smart, witty, funny, can spell, and can quote a few books then chances are: i’ll dig you. looks aren’t really that important (to me, anyway). unless we’re talking about my current bf, who is arguably the cutest thing i’ve ever seen. and i think he gets cuter daily. while i just get closer to needing botox. it’s not fair.

i digress. there is no excuse for not knowing basic spelling and the differences between words like: there, they’re, their or your and you’re. while i’m a big, huge advocate of working on your fitness – i don’t think you should neglect your brain.

while we’re on it:

be honest.

be real.

be loyal.

be faithful.

be funny.

even if you are not a wordsmith, as long as there is earnest love in every syllable, we will never cease to be impressed. or to fall. it’s no secret that the way to my heart is with words (genuine ones). and yes, i’ve fallen in love via text. and email. more than once.

i’ve heard ‘if you can make a girl laugh, you can make her do anything.’ and while i tend to agree. it’s a little different with me. (what isn’t?) if you can paint me pictures. with words. i’m yours.

so boys. please, please, please, please, please learn to spell. for all the intelligent single gals out there who deserve a smart fella.

thank you.