Posted on by shirindawna

contemplating.

i love the rain.

i love feeling inspired.

and i love any excuse to throw on boots.

here’s something very melancholy about the rain…and yet i find it soothing.

i’ve had gordon lightfoot on repeat. he’s a cynic. i like that coupled with the rain.

rain is good for inspiration. or maybe it’s sadness? the rain made me nostalgic…and yet much to my surprise, i didn’t get stuck in that emotion. i guess i shouldn’t be surprised. i’m not meant to be sad. but something about gloomy weather has always made me gloomy on the inside. today is an exception. and why shouldn’t it be? after all, i have pink rain boots. and i love having an excuse to wear them.

i wish i could stay in bed and write all day. i believe that’s what rainy days were meant for…reading and writing.

i’m contemplative today. and i like it.

Posted on by shirindawna

high fidelity, irony, and sun-daze.

i’ve been plagued with the sunday night blues for as long as i can recall. and i’ve written about it numerous times. even on the sunniest, happiest sunday it feels like monday starts on sunday. today is no exception.

the cure? a good book.

so, i leave you with a little high fidelity…and a little irony (for those that know the back-story):

“I’ve seen men like you in Doris Day films, but I never thought they existed in real life…The men who can’t commit, who can’t say ‘I love you’ even when they want to, who start to cough and sputter and change the subject. But here you are. A living, breathing specimen. Incredible.”

incredible, indeed.

and a little sad…like a sunday.

Posted on by shirindawna · 2 Comments

mustard waffle fries, pound signs, and girl talk.

it doesn’t seem right that the english language only has one word for ‘love.’

i just spent 5 days including two 8+ hour road trips with my beautiful and hilarious best friend and no less than 30 minutes after being away from her, i already missed her.

when we pulled up at her place last night her husband said ‘i bet you’re so sick of each other’ and all i thought was ‘nope. i’d jump back in the car and do it all over again.’ and i would.

she’s the best.

and so was the weekend we just had.

everyone i’ve talked to complains about the drive from sd to sf…and yet i had a blast – both ways. even stuck in traffic: interpretive dancing, storytelling, almost knocking each other out, spy missions to visit another bestie at work, musical exploration, sharing pilot duties, entertaining other cars on the road, narrowly escaping phone/texting laws as a passenger (it was NOT a coincidence 😉 ), discussing the logistics of wetsuits and how airtight they are, ssschhinging along with our bessschht liisshppshh, saving $$ for lisshp shhurgery, not letting friends live on ramen, and making plansshh with musshtard sshhtan…

i’m sad that it’s over and yet so happy and grateful that my friends are so amazing.

love my friends. love my life.

love love.

…back to the grind with a happy heart.

Posted on by shirindawna

gravity & vulnerability.

while catching up with a friend today & discussing the latest & greatest in our lives, we began discussing writing and she confessed that she wasn’t keeping up with her blog because she had so much to say and didn’t want people to know it was her.

i shared with her that i’ve always felt that exposing yourself via writing makes you vulnerable, but told her that’s kinda what i love about it.

her response blew me away: that’s why you’re so good at loving people and opening your heart. you’re willing and excited by vulnerability.

in light of recent events, it was exactly what i needed to hear.

she then said: most people run away from that.

and it got me thinking…why? why does that happen?

the way i see it: you want to meet someone, you want to fall in love, but you know the risks that lead to love… they may cause pain, and it’s the fear of that pain, that’s what holds you back.

but it isn’t a question of whether you can or can’t push forward. taking a risk is like jumping off a cliff. it’s a leap into the unknown.
with absolutely no guarantees.

take the leap.

see what comes.

decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it.

‘you’re neither friend nor foe though i can’t seem to let you go’

Posted on by shirindawna

always a dreamer…

if you know me at all, you know i tend to have really vivid dreams.

they are often really random.

the other night, i dreamt that i was making out with chris brown (sloppy smoocher, by the way).

oddly enough, i’ve never been attracted to him (i’m strictly an usher girl), but we were dancing, i’m a sucker for a great dancer and he went for it…i let it happen.

mid-make out things took a turn for awkward so i pulled away & said ‘let’s make this less weird’

he nodded.

i followed up with ‘are you going to hit me now?’

it’s good to know that even in my dreams i like to make things super uncomfortable.