Posted on by shirindawna · 3 Comments

everything i needed to know about love, i learned on the bachelorette.

i’ve spent the better part of my last 15 years in & out of relationships…

if only the bachelorette were around way back when, i believe i could’ve saved myself a good amount of heartache.

the show teaches you everything you need to know about properly navigating a relationship and what to look for when dating a potential mate. (or 25 of them, simultaneously. in a very accelerated manner.)

some gems:

‘love. it don’t come easy.’

‘i wanna live in a bubble with somebody. i wanna live in some idealistic, unrealistic world where we’re convinced that we’re more in love than any couple who has ever lived.’

‘he could’ve stayed. a real man would’ve moved heaven & earth. he would’ve done everything he could to fight for you…he didn’t. he left.’

the facts:

you have to find a guy that will want to guard & protect your heart. so much that he’ll sneak out to tattoo it on his wrist. (okay, maybe that’s a teeny tiny bit extreme)

if you love having long luscious locks, you gotta spring for the $$$ extensions. sometimes even pro hair people can’t make crap extensions look good.

it doesn’t matter how deep of a connection you feel, if the other party is unavailable, you’re outta luck. (i’m referring to the frye boots that jilly rocked, but this can also be applied elsewhere. obvi)

it is important to handle breakups gracefully. at least when people can see you.

when they leave on their own, they almost always come back.

giving someone a second chance sometimes prolongs a necessary ending.

if he wants to play a song he wrote for you on his guitar, RUN. he is going to break your heart. and maybe sleep with your best friend.

you either know or you don’t. there is no middle ground ~ i’m a firm believer that love is a pretty cut & dry reality. it’s difficult, yes. it’s confusing, yes. but, it’s either there and right or it’s not. if you need to sell yourself to someone, you should probably just go shopping elsewhere.

if they don’t give you flowers, they don’t see a future with you.

sometimes you need to put a period where someone has left an ellipses, there is no such thing as: the end…

Posted on by shirindawna

don’t touch me there.

i’m a freak. i CANNOT stand it when people touch my face.

i think it is absolutely disgusting and i get completely creeped out.

my natural instinct is usually to slap the hand away…but sometimes that isn’t totally appropriate. sometimes, you’re mid-smooch with a new boy who you might not want to completely scare off by showing him your freakish tendencies. (at least not yet…)

obviously this has me thinking about kissing and boys…

which is sorta silly because i haven’t had anything more than a platonic or a family kiss in…

well, since the last time i did.

maybe that’s not so silly, maybe that’s the root of it?

who knows?

but onto the smooches.

kissing is a BIG thing for me. when i think about being interested in a guy, that’s one of the first things i imagine: smooching him. if the thought doesn’t sound as delicious to me as a peanut butter smoothie, then i cut him loose immediately.

kisses say a lot: how a guy kisses you, when a guy kisses you, where a guy kisses you, and where a guy’s hands are when he kisses…

if the first thing he does is shove his tongue down my throat, he’s not interested in me, he’s interested in what he hopes to do to me. next, please!

a guy that is interested in kissing you for the right reasons is going to take his cues from you (and likewise you should take your cues from him). i think the perfect smooch uses the tongue like an exclamation point. as an accent in the right areas. some paragraphs have more exclamation points than others. some have none at all, it depends on the kiss and the mood. as you can tell from my writing, it’s rare that you ever see “!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” written on the page (though that can come through in my personality). therefore, smoochers styled like that aren’t my thing (the exclamation points should be implied, not forced down my throat, thankyouverymuch!). those kinds of kisses completely ruin it for me. it goes from a fun smooch session, to playing defense. defense isn’t meant to be a part of kissing.

which brings me back to my original point…hands on my face. i shouldn’t need to smack your hand away. so, DO NOT TOUCH MY FACE.

i admit…it’s sweet and romantic and can feel terribly intimate, but as a general rule – i HATE it.

though, i confess…
once upon a time, in a dream, i met a boy.
when he kissed me he touched my face.
surprisingly, i didn’t hate it.
my bestie told me to marry him.
obvi, that didn’t happen. (because. not real life)
but i guess that’s what i should be looking for now…
someone whose hands are not repulsive to my face?

Posted on by shirindawna

this is the fear, this is the dread, these are the contents of my head.

i’m suffering from massive blogger’s block. at this point, i have seven half-written blogs. i can’t bring myself to finish them. i’m not sure what my malfunction is…if i had to hazard a guess, i’d say it’s a bad case of the crazies mixed with a little wanderlust.

i battle the crazy on a daily (read: minute by minute) basis.

the fact is, i’m completely neurotic, often anxious, and get caught up in these insane hypotheticals that i invent in my own head. i don’t know why i’m sharing this. i don’t know why i share most of the things i do…especially since i’m not really a fan of sharing. ask my mom. (about my inability to share, not about what a head case i am)

don’t get me wrong. i mean, i think i’m fabulous, but i recognize that even in all my amazing-ness – there is room for improvement. let’s not get too deep here though, that’s a different topic for another day. i just spent the better part of the morning trapped in my head over-analyzing something that i just need to let go.

apparently, ‘letting go’ for me somehow translates to ‘i need a vacation’ (just go with it). and so i’m sitting here…thinking/plotting/planning where i’d like to go. and then i realize: it doesn’t matter where you go, honey. you gotta take all your crazy with you.

so, for now. i’m staying put. in my head.

watch out, world. (read: poor, sweet boyfriend who has to put up with me)