another sleepless night.
i’m so restless these days. it isn’t a new feeling.
and it isn’t a bad one…i feel like i’m on the brink of so much that i’d rather not waste time sleeping.
i want immediate gratification.
life has other plans.
it’s raining, it’s pouring.
i can’t sleep.
as i lie in bed & listen to the sky dump water, i can’t help but think of the boy that used to sleep next to me. he loved to fall asleep to the sound of the rain. how ironical that it’s now the reason i’m unable to sleep…
as i type that i realize it isn’t entirely true. i had trouble falling asleep earlier. and the sky hadn’t started crying yet.
i was thinking about a boy then too…as i often do. not one from my past this time, i don’t make a habit of visiting there. one from my present. and hopefully my future. i feel anxious typing that. like i’m jinxing something.
i shared that sentiment with my bestie today. i told her i’m happy for what i have today & am not brave enough to wish for more.
her reply was ‘you don’t have to be brave to wish for something.’
so, i’m wishing…that he’ll be the next one i listen to the rain with. and if i’m very lucky, the last.
it feels brave to admit. even if it isn’t.
change is inevitable, growth is optional.
one of my favorite sayings.
so much happening, so many possibilities…
there was a time when i would have been afraid. or at the very least, extremely anxious.
now, i’m simply excited. everything changes. and i fully embrace it.
after all, if nothing ever changed, there wouldn’t be butterflies.
something right.
anything to get more of this feeling.
new year. old me.
it’s a new year. and the old me is back. she’s a little wiser, much sassier, and happier than ever.
this year i resolve to be the best version of me that i can be. not sure who that is yet, but i’m excited to figure it out.
and to take advantage of opportunities. because lately i’ve been presented with so many.
2011 is already an exciting year. 2010 closed a lot of wrong doors and i’m thrilled to see the right ones opening.
and since i either do things with my entire heart or not at all, i’m ‘moving forward using all my breath’…because ‘the future’s open wiiiiiiide!’
(ironical that this song popped up as i was finishing this post? i think not. there are no coincidences.)
sdinsd 