Posted on by shirindawna

that’s that me espresso.

oh, the people who just can’t seem to handle it when a woman speaks her mind – what a fascinating breed. the ones who act like my voice is something that needs to be “toned down,” “polished,” or better yet, silenced altogether. let’s be real, they’re not silencing me because i’m wrong. they’re doing it because deep down, they know i’m right, and the truth makes them uncomfortable. too bad, because i’m not here to cater to fragile egos or tiptoe around the fact that i’ve got something to say. it’s never gonna be me, babe. never has been. never will be.

they slap on a smile, acting like they’re doing me a favor, telling me, “maybe you’re coming across too harsh,” or “you’d be more likable if you didn’t talk about certain things.”

oh, honey, i’m not here to be likable. if you want a watered-down version of me, go sip on someone else’s vanilla latte, because this is espresso—straight up.

these silencing types love to disguise themselves as “well-meaning,” like they’re just trying to help me out. as if i need their unsolicited advice on how to be more palatable. newsflash: i don’t need anyone to turn my volume down. i’m not some background noise for your comfort; i’m the whole damn concert, and the amps are cranked to eleven. if you can’t handle the music, the door’s right there.

here’s the real deal: they’re not silencing me because i’m too loud, or wrong, or “too much.” they’re silencing me because i make them face things they don’t want to deal with. i’m holding up a mirror to their outdated, misogynistic views, and they can’t stand the reflection. instead of evolving, they’d rather try to shut me up, like i’m the problem. but the joke’s on them because every time they try to silence me, it just makes me louder.

and let’s be honest—it’s almost funny how they think they have the power to dictate when and where i should speak. like, sweetie, you don’t have that kind of influence. women have been silenced for centuries, and look where that’s gotten us—nowhere we’re staying. i’ve got too much to say, and if you think a few snide comments or attempts to shut me down are going to work, you’re about to get hit with a reality check. i’ve got my own voice, and i sure as hell am not going to let anyone turn down the volume.

so, to the people who think they can silence me (or any other woman): take a seat. i don’t cater to other people’s insecurities, and i definitely don’t cater to people who think i should sit pretty and stay quiet. i’ve got things to say, and if that makes you uncomfortable, well, maybe it’s time to ask yourself why the truth bothers you so much.

i’ve never cared what anyone else thinks, and i’m definitely not about to start now. i’m done with other people’s rules. and their opinions? nothing but background noise to the sound of women taking up the space we’ve always deserved, no permission needed.

Posted on by shirindawna · 1 Comment

i don’t cater to all these vipers.

this blog is something i’ve been sitting with for months, trying to articulate: it’s about taylor swift, our favorite pop sensation who can turn a breakup into a billboard hit, but also about so much more…

it baffles me that some women take issue with taylor writing about her relationships, her exes, the breakups, and choose to judge her negatively for speaking out. you’d think they’d be cheering her on for making millions off her heartache, but instead, there’s judgment, eye-rolling, and whispers that maybe she should just keep quiet about it.

that judgment? it’s not just about taylor. it’s about something bigger, something lurking in the shadows of our collective consciousness: internalized misogyny.

it’s part of a long history of silencing women, of telling them to keep quiet about their experiences, especially when it comes to relationships.

never be so polite you forget your power.

men have been writing about their exes since, well, forever. and when they do, they’re hailed as poetic geniuses, chroniclers of the human condition. but when taylor swift does it, suddenly it’s “oh, she’s so petty,” or “why can’t she just move on?” the double standard is glaring, but somehow, it keeps slipping under the radar.

it’s like this: women have been trained – by society, by culture, by history – to keep their emotions in check, to not make a fuss, especially over a man. when swift refuses to follow those unspoken rules, it ruffles feathers. and not just any feathers: women’s feathers. because deep down, many of us have internalized the idea that a “good” woman doesn’t make her private life public.

the best people in life are free.

here’s the thing: internalized misogyny is sneaky. it’s that voice inside that tells women to play nice, to not air their dirty laundry, to keep their emotions under wraps. so when taylor swift takes a bad breakup and turns it into a number-one hit, some women cringe. not because there’s anything wrong with what she’s doing, but because they’ve been taught women aren’t supposed to do that. they’re not supposed to make a scene.

and let’s be real, taylor is making a scene – a glorious, chart-topping, grammy-winning scene. but for some women, that scene breaks all the rules they’ve been taught to follow, and instead of questioning the rules (or their beliefs), they question her.

women love hunting witches, too.

this isn’t anything new. women have a long history of persecuting other women for doing things they aren’t bold or brave enough to do. taylor swift doesn’t just get flak for writing about her exes – she gets flak for having exes in the first place. the narrative goes something like this: if a woman has too many relationships, she’s somehow less. less respectable, less desirable, less everything. it’s a twisted, outdated idea that a woman’s worth is tied to her romantic history.

and who’s dishing out this judgment? often, it’s other women. it’s a textbook case of internalized misogyny – women absorbing the same toxic messages that have been used to control them for generations and then turning those messages on each other.

people throw rocks at things that shine.

here’s the kicker: in all the criticism taylor faces, how often do we talk about the guys she’s writing about? not much. instead, the spotlight stays on her, as if her reaction to their behavior is the real problem. the guy could have been a jerk, a cheater, or just plain absent, but somehow, it’s taylor’s response that gets all the attention.

this is classic internalized misogyny at work – shifting the focus from a man’s bad behavior to a woman’s emotional response. it’s a tale as old as time: blame the woman, excuse the man. and when other women buy into this narrative, they’re reinforcing a system that’s been holding them down for centuries.

i could build a castle out of all the bricks they threw at me.

so, what’s taylor swift really doing when she writes about her exes? she’s owning her narrative. she’s refusing to be silenced, to be shamed, or to play by anyone else’s rules. she’s turning her personal experiences into art that resonates with millions, and in doing so, she’s challenging the very norms that some women have internalized.

i don’t regret it one bit cuz he had it coming.

next time you hear someone say taylor swift should stop writing about her exes, take a second to think about where that’s coming from. is it really about her music? or is it about something deeper, something that’s been ingrained in us without us even realizing it?

internalized misogyny is a powerful thing. but the more we talk about it, the less power it has. and maybe, just maybe, we can start giving women the space to tell their stories – no matter how messy, emotional, or public they might be. because if there’s one thing taylor swift has taught us, it’s that there’s nothing more powerful than owning your story, no matter what anyone else thinks.

now, to the women rolling their eyes at taylor’s lyrics and turning up their noses at her success: it’s laughable, really. imagine getting mad at a woman for making millions off emotional labor while half the world suffers in silence. ladies, where is your business acumen? taylor’s out here signing record deals with her tear-stained stationery, while you’re busy clutching pearls over things you wish you had the guts to say yourself.