Posted on by shirindawna

you ain’t never had a (girl)friend like me.

happy 2013! the highlight of my past year was bonding with magical dolphins on a trip to commemorate my baba. i forgot the dolphin’s name so i have been affectionately referring to her as: tuna. quite a catchy name for my mammal pal, in my opinion.

my hunky boyfriend and i had the pleasure of cuddling with these loving creatures on a recent vacation. which brought me to the conclusion that i definitely need a pet dolphin…

aside from the time spent in the water with my new best friends, i particularly enjoyed the moment when i overheard the following conversation.

adorable little girl (to her parents while looking through photos from people playing with the dolphins): she looks like princess jasmine!
me (to my hunk): is she talking about ME?!
my hunk: of course she is.
and I’ve been reminding him ever since.
“she said i look like princess jasmine” has been repeated countless times since. no time for modesty!

which is why it was especially funny the other day when my boyfriend said something about an ex-girlfriend and i told him it wasn’t my fault his dating history read like a line-up of the seven dwarves:
lazy
crazy
ditzy
mousey
trampy
psycho
clingy

my point is: he ain’t never had a (girl)friend like me (hair flip).

i mean, we can’t all be princesses.

Posted on by shirindawna

a year of firsts.

nothing ever feels the way you imagine it will. my first birthday without my baba isn’t breaking my heart the way it has been over the last couple weeks. i miss him, but there is a sense of calm that surrounds me. a peace i had been hoping for and wasn’t expecting. now that it’s here, i’m not sure what to do with it.

at a glance, i have nothing to complain about. sitting on a patio in maui with the ocean in the distance and a sweet boyfriend snoozing away in the king size bed in our hotel room. life has been good to me. i am fortunate. and i’m grateful for everything i have. and even though i feel at peace with my dad not being around, the little girl in me still wants to call him and tell him how pretty it is here. and how much i miss him. and how i wish i could’ve been with him when he explored kauai several years back.

my dad and i always planned to come to hawaii together. maybe that’s why i felt compelled to celebrate my birthday here. it just felt right.

but here’s a little secret: running away to maui doesn’t make you forget that your dad isn’t around to celebrate your birthday. i would be lying if i said it didn’t soften the blow though. i mean, if it’s going to suck either way it may as well suck in a tropical paradise.

i feel a sense of obligation to my dad and his memory to strengthen family bonds. perhaps that is why i felt it was so important to have my boyfriend’s parents here with us? i know my dad would’ve wanted it that way. he had such admiration and regard for these people he has never even met. that’s baba though. he makes up his mind about certain ideals and blindly follows them, not to say his admiration is unwarranted, but it always amused me that the details or circumstances surrounding a situation didn’t phase him as much as the final outcome. maybe that’s why he was able to love so unconditionally. and with such pure intent. i wish i had the courage and ability to surrender myself so completely to love in the same way. that type of love may only exist from a parent to a child and perhaps that is why i haven’t experienced it…someday.

i have many things to celebrate today: the love of a good man, a wonderful brother, and great friends. and i get to celebrate my birthday in hawaii.

it isn’t a perfect picture, but there are a lot of perfect pieces.

Posted on by shirindawna · 2 Comments

mustard waffle fries, pound signs, and girl talk.

it doesn’t seem right that the english language only has one word for ‘love.’

i just spent 5 days including two 8+ hour road trips with my beautiful and hilarious best friend and no less than 30 minutes after being away from her, i already missed her.

when we pulled up at her place last night her husband said ‘i bet you’re so sick of each other’ and all i thought was ‘nope. i’d jump back in the car and do it all over again.’ and i would.

she’s the best.

and so was the weekend we just had.

everyone i’ve talked to complains about the drive from sd to sf…and yet i had a blast – both ways. even stuck in traffic: interpretive dancing, storytelling, almost knocking each other out, spy missions to visit another bestie at work, musical exploration, sharing pilot duties, entertaining other cars on the road, narrowly escaping phone/texting laws as a passenger (it was NOT a coincidence 😉 ), discussing the logistics of wetsuits and how airtight they are, ssschhinging along with our bessschht liisshppshh, saving $$ for lisshp shhurgery, not letting friends live on ramen, and making plansshh with musshtard sshhtan…

i’m sad that it’s over and yet so happy and grateful that my friends are so amazing.

love my friends. love my life.

love love.

…back to the grind with a happy heart.

Posted on by shirindawna

impulsive.

restless.

i’ve been this way for as long as i can remember and it’s gotten me into some interesting situations. mostly involving last minute travel to random locations.

many moons ago, i had recently become single and was back in touch with a suitor that i had been entertaining prior to my relationship. he lived in nyc and invited me to visit for the weekend to watch the world cup with him. i had a brief conversation with him about how it sounded fun & by the time i got home his secretary had sent me an email with my itinerary – leaving the next morning. my flirting skills are en pointe.

it happened too quickly for me to think too much about it or the implications of spending a weekend with someone.  i packed up my bag and the next morning, i hopped on a plane.

some background: i met this guy on a trip to nyc a few years prior and we went out several times during my visit and stayed in touch over the years. i may have even seen him on subsequent visits to nyc – the details are hazy now. i do remember one particular dinner with a group of his friends where his gorgeous, indian, beauty pageant, ex-girlfriend was present. that was fun. (it actually really was. but that’s because i had a run-in with usher that night and so i couldn’t be bothered with the ex-girlfriend nonsense. also, i didn’t really care, which caused me to ignore red flags that would send me running now. oh, hindsight.)

i digress. we definitely hadn’t moved past first base (because if you know me at all, you know – i’m pretty prudish). after i arrived, he took me out for a nice dinner. i chose to overlook the fact that he was wearing a cuff bracelet and had his shirt unbuttoned about one button too low. we had a nice time and when we got back to his place we were both pretty tired so we decided to go to sleep. i went into the bathroom to change (prude style) and when i emerged in my tank top and sweats i found him sprawled on the bed covered by a blanket the size of a napkin. he was clearly topless, but i couldn’t tell if he was wearing anything under the napkin/blanket. and i wasn’t curious enough to really look. i hopped into bed as far on the opposite side as i could and tried to stick a corner of the napkin/blanket on me since i was FREEZING. he had the a/c on iceland mode. clever.

i curled up in a little ball with my back to him and eventually fell asleep only to be woken up at various points in the night from his arm draped on me. dead weight draped. it felt horrible. i was horrified that i got myself into this situation. he continued trying to touch/grope me throughout the night and i continued pretending to be asleep and scoot dangerously close to the edge of the bed. all that kept running in my head was 3 more nights of this! THREE MORE NIGHTS of fighting him off.

the next morning he woke me up at a ridiculously early time and started BLARING techno. now, i’m not a big techno fan in general (i like it for things like running, but generally NOT a fan), so you can imagine my amusement in being woken up to some hard hitting beats. i tried to disappear by covering my face with my pillow. it didn’t work. and the movement on my part prompted him to speak.

him: wake up!

me: i’m tired. need more sleep.

him: but it’s 9!

me: NOT in san diego. in san diego, it’s 6! turn this music off, it’s giving me a headache.

him: ok, i’ll put on some enya.

and he did.

it was obvious that sleep was outta the question so i agreed to get up.  i immediately jumped in the shower. while i was in there i took some deep calming breaths. they failed.

i got dressed and he went into the shower.

while he was in there, i packed up my bag. by the time he got out of the shower, i was completely ready to leave.

and i did.

i didn’t provide much of an explanation. i was young and uncomfortable and just wanted to get the h-e-l-l away from him.

i called my brother to discuss my travel options.

nerd: how much is a ticket?

me: i have no idea.

nerd: if it’s a lot, just stay there & have sex with him.

typical nerd comment.

i called up the airline and discovered that all flights to san diego were sold out for the next 2 days. i explained my situation to the woman on the phone. i told her all about the techno and the napkin/blanket. and she had me on a flight to la that evening. it cost me $5.

a little bit of my sanity.

and a lot of my naïveté.

i made my brother drive to la to pick me up and let him make fun of me the entire way home without sassing him too much in return.

i still can’t listen to enya.

i still find myself overly annoyed about indian ex-girlfriends, in particular. (especially since i’m often asked if i’m indian, i am not. i’m olive, not brown)

and that guy still wants to hang out with me.