i’m guilty of getting way too caught up in whatever exciting/tragic/ fantastic/depressing event happening in my life (or yours, if we’re besties)…and sometimes (read: never in the moment) it helps to remind myself that ‘sometimes feelings are false.’ and more importantly, they’re only temporary.
it helps (me) to remember what i know for sure…and i’m certain that: happiness is fragile. and i can’t always trust my emotions.
there are few things worse than watching your friend settle for someone who isn’t good enough for them. i just can’t wrap my head around the concept of settling. i mean, sure…nobody is perfect and all that, but they can be perfect for you .
it’s no secret. finding “the one” is no easy feat. if you’ve found that person (or think you have ~ for now, good for you, i’m happy for you. thrilled. ecstatic. and possibly a little envious. if you haven’t, then i can relate.
the media pervades our minds with ideas of forever…and not a realistic version of it. we’re supposed to find ‘the one’ and live happily ever after. don’t get me wrong. i’m secretly a hopeless romantic and i loooooove the all the cheesy movies that are responsible for my lack of clarity when i fall for a boy. but all that said, one does need to keep a level head and realize (sadly) that these situation just don’t tend to happen in real life.
happy endings don’t just materialize after your lost glass slipper created by your fairy godmother is placed on your foot. you have to fight (fairly) for them. and want them. and believe in them. it’s not easy, it takes work. and most people aren’t willing to do what it takes (hence our divorce rate). or maybe we just don’t know HOW to do it? maybe our parents didn’t set the best example? maybe our family is filled with cheaters and liars and we’re unable to figure out how to make a good, healthy relationship work. true love isn’t forever unless you’re really interested in making it work. and based on our fat, lazy society…how many people look like they’re interested in anything that takes any work?
sorry if that’s a little hard to swallow, but i sincerely believe this. for example, i LOVE food. LOVE it. i love sweets, i love peanut butter, i love chips, i LOVE lemon month at souplantation, i love it all. but guess what? i also love fitting into my pants…so, i’ve come to accept that it takes work. it takes exercise, moderation, and constant work. it’s a sad, true fact.
i’m no stranger to love. i’ve loved several times…and several times thought it was my ‘forever love,’ but every time – it didn’t last. the reasons were different each time…but it all essentially boiled down to the same thing: we changed. and grew apart.
my 20 year-old self wanted something very different than my (almost) 30 year-old self does. and my 25 year-old self wanted something completely different than my 27 year-old self…what i’m getting at is: people change…it’s inevitable, but the key seems to be finding someone you can grow with. clearly it happens. otherwise we wouldn’t see couples celebrating 50 year anniversaries. i’m always curious about these couples. are they still in love? were they ever? when the butterflies and sparks fade, what remains?
this has basically just turned into a stream of consciousness at this point…thoughts and ideas on love, relationships…i realize i’m all over the place, but that’s how i am on the subject in general. at least, for now. so, look for love. and be romantic, but remember to use wise mind and in the end, if the love you’ve found doesn’t work then cherish the good memories and look forward to great times ahead.
our experiences will all be different, but in the end, that’s all you have: your own story. and your own experiences by which to define love.
and who knows? maybe you’ll be one of the lucky ones celebrating your 50 year anniversary…
ignorance is bliss.
i’m a smart girl.
are you doing the math? i have. and it ain’t pretty.
bliss often evades me.
it’s okay though. (read: i need to stop being so damn analytical about: every. damn thing.) and by ‘every. damn. thing.’ i mostly mean: boys. and sometimes: my friends. mostly boys though. and mostly just ‘boy.’ whoever he turns out to be…at that point in my life.
another day of being wrapped up in my thoughts. i can’t even begin to tell you how many times recently i’ve had to actively stop my train of thought and redirect my focus. it’s the oddest thing. my hypothetical scenarios and overactive imagination are hindering normal brain activity.
but if you know me at all, you’d know: i prefer strange to normal any day.
and besides “Love takes up where knowledge leaves off” (~ Saint Thomas Aquinas) so based on that…i guess, sometimes…it’s okay to stop thinking?
for starters – allow me to explain: wise mind is a balance between your emotional and reasonable minds. on a very basic level, it’s ‘think, then act’
for more detailed info, click: wise mind.
i blame one of my best friends (she’s a therapist) for bringing this theory into my world…i’ve always operated on a mostly emotional level. i think a good friend once referred to me as emotionally logical…and i am. mostly. but admittedly there are times (more often than i’d like to admit) when logic completely evades me…
ever since this wise mind theory was introduced into my life, it’s been my albatross and my saving grace. now when i find myself in a pickle (these are often self-induced and only in my head…what can i say? i’m over-analytical ~ AND emotional), i find myself wondering ‘is this wise mind?’ (and no, it usually isn’t).
i tend to analyze things to the point where i conjure up my own understandings and scenarios…mostly of things that haven’t (and may never) happen. and when it’s boy-related (92% of the time) – i (unrealistically) expect him to confirm what’s going on in my head by: a) reading my mind b) talking it to death with me. of course, my wise mind recognizes how big of a head case this makes me…but there are times…when i simply. can. not. help. it!
it’s even pervaded my friend’s minds…and there’s been more than one time that i’ve been called upon to provide some wise mind. which for the record, is alllllllllllllways easier to do when the situation is not yours. obvi.
example: these christian louboutins cost more than my paycheck, do i need them? emotional mind: (SCREAMING) YESSSSSSSSSSSS! wise mind: no. no you don’t NEED them.
so, while i’m partially grateful to one of my favorite pals for acquainting me with the skills to understand and develop wise mind…i still don’t have a pair of louboutins. and for that. i HATE wise mind.
sdinsd 