Posted on by shirindawna

it sorta stings.

i find my horoscope annoying today:

A relationship that once held a lot of promise and possibility may seem to be fractured beyond repair. You may believe that there is no way to get beyond a current conflict and return to the fulfilling, enjoyable companionship that you once experienced with this person. But that’s not so. Although the current emotional climate between the two of you may be cold and even hostile, this is not the end of the road. You may need to wait awhile for the tension to die down, but eventually this important friendship will find its way back. Have faith.

(originally published in 2011 and in 2023 i can confirm that the person i read this to be about is back in my life and is a very important friendship)

Posted on by shirindawna · 1 Comment

it’s raining, it’s pouring.

i can’t sleep.

as i lie in bed & listen to the sky dump water, i can’t help but think of the boy that used to sleep next to me. he loved to fall asleep to the sound of the rain. how ironical that it’s now the reason i’m unable to sleep…

as i type that i realize it isn’t entirely true. i had trouble falling asleep earlier. and the sky hadn’t started crying yet.

i was thinking about a boy then too…as i often do. not one from my past this time, i don’t make a habit of visiting there. one from my present. and hopefully my future. i feel anxious typing that. like i’m jinxing something.

i shared that sentiment with my bestie today. i told her i’m happy for what i have today & am not brave enough to wish for more.

her reply was ‘you don’t have to be brave to wish for something.’

so, i’m wishing…that he’ll be the next one i listen to the rain with. and if i’m very lucky, the last.

it feels brave to admit. even if it isn’t.