fearless in pursuit of my pen.

leaving the corporate world wasn’t part of my plan. it wasn’t a carefully calculated career move or a strategic pivot. it was a leap of faith, a decision born out of a deep longing for something more meaningful in life.

for years, i navigated the intricacies of the corporate environment, meetings that seemed to go nowhere, endless email chains, and office politics that often left me feeling drained. don’t get me wrong; i learned valuable skills and met incredible people along the way. but somewhere along the line, i started to feel like i was losing myself in the hustle and bustle of it all.

the tipping point came when i realized that my work was no longer fulfilling. the paycheck was nice, of course, but it wasn’t enough to sustain my happiness. i craved a sense of purpose, a deeper connection to my work and its impact on the world around me.

leaving secular work was a daunting decision. there were moments of doubt and uncertainty. would i regret walking away from the stability and routine of corporate life?

but those fears were outweighed by a profound sense of relief. stepping away from the corporate world felt like shedding a heavy coat i had been carrying for far too long. suddenly, i had the freedom to explore new passions, to reconnect with neglected interests, and to prioritize my well-being.

now, looking back on those initial moments of transition, i can confidently say that leaving was the best decision i could have made. i rediscovered the joy of simplicity, of spending time with loved ones, of pursuing hobbies that truly ignite my soul, of savoring quiet moments of reflection.

gone are the days of navigating office politics and striving to meet arbitrary metrics. instead, i focus on projects that align with my values and contribute to causes i believe in. whether it’s freelance work, creative pursuits, or simply taking time to recharge, each day feels like a step closer to living authentically.

leaving secular work has taught me valuable lessons about resilience and courage. it’s shown me that happiness isn’t found in climbing a corporate ladder or accumulating wealth, but in aligning your life with what truly matters to you.

initially, i had hang-ups about relying on someone else for financial support. i feared losing my sense of independence and self-sufficiency. but over time, i’ve come to see it differently. our partnership is about mutual support and shared goals, where we complement each other’s strengths and aspirations. it’s not about dependency but about building a life together that prioritizes happiness and fulfillment over societal expectations of success.

if you’re considering a similar path, whether by choice or circumstance, i encourage you to listen to that inner voice urging you toward change. embrace the unknown, trust in your abilities, and have faith that life has a way of unfolding in unexpected, beautiful ways.

as i continue on this journey of self-discovery and growth, i am grateful for the opportunity to redefine success on my own terms. leaving the corporate world wasn’t part of my plan, but it has led me to a place of genuine happiness and fulfillment. and for that, i am profoundly grateful.

the path to misandry.

it’s the unqualified, newly promoted manager asking me to falsify documents because the client requested it.

it’s the one i thought i loved only to learn that my grief over losing my dad was too overwhelming for him and his solution was to seek solace in someone else.

it’s the same guy who helped himself to my baba’s gold coins after i kicked him out of my condo.

it’s the meeting full of men who argue with everything i say until a man says the exact same thing and suddenly they’re all listening.

it’s the guy who can’t get past thinking breasts were made for him and not for their true intention, feeding littles.

it’s the ex who equates net worth with self-worth.

it’s the man who asked to speak to my brother when i was coordinating my dad’s burial because only men can be qualified to do these things.

it’s the creep who wouldn’t take no for an answer.

it’s the furniture installer who spoke to me like a child after calling him out for doing the job incorrectly. (this day will live in infamy in my home. if you know, you know. SIR.)

it’s the client who hated me because i’m assertive and woman aren’t allowed to be.

it’s the guy at work trying to convince me to perform illegal tasks, even after i clearly stated multiple times that i wasn’t comfortable with the ask.

it’s the same guy who asked “who told?” when management called him out on it. (i took great delight in telling him it was me)

it’s the guy who assumed i owed him sex because he flew me out to visit him.

it’s the employee at the car dealership who speaks only to my husband.

it’s the client who wants me, a very experienced (and excellent – no time for modesty, this is a post of bullet points) editor, to justify my cost when he can hire someone right out of college to do the work for less. (you get what you pay for, in this instance).

it’s the reason i started to hate work.

it’s the reason i don’t want to return.

a perfect case for my certain skillset.

my husband just called me into his office requesting my unique skills to assist him with a grammar query. i took my time responding (because i like to make people wait for me, i’m worth it) and as i entered the office i noticed that he was already asking some AI bot the question he was supposed to be asking me! i answered before the computer and noticed that we said almost the exact same thing. then, i noticed that my husband wasn’t being direct/clear/explicit enough in the directive he was giving so i clarified that verbiage. just for fun, he asked the bot to do the same. it didn’t do it as well. he gave it another chance with a clearer command. it still didn’t get the message across as clearly (as i did). (i’ve decided i’m not interested in working right now, but it’s nice to know i can’t be replaced by a computer…yet!)

then, he told the bot that i was better.

it complimented him on finding someone with excellent skills.

(with machines taking over the world)…is it going to come after me now?

genuinely not a joy.

it’s not all about dead dads and heartbreak; there is the thing i don’t talk about: the time my boss at work exposed himself after locking me in his office.

i tried to go to HR, but the woman running it was a good friend of his and made it clear that my complaint would get no traction. unbeknownst to me, he had been telling people that we had been dating for months. we hadn’t. we weren’t.

i never hashtagged #metoo, i never told my boyfriend, i never told my friends, i never knew it wasn’t my fault.

i’m mouthy.

i’m difficult.

i have big boobs.

i’m not a perfect victim.

the harassment went on for far too long, culminating in him barging into my dad’s hospital room, after a major surgery, to get my attention because i refused to speak to him after he wouldn’t take “no” for an answer.

the situation was complicated, uncomfortable, and not okay. in the end, i left the job and after showing up at my home unexpectedly a few times, he finally left me alone. it was, at the least, sexual harassment. at the most, it was something far more sinister. i have a lot of guilt and angst about not being able to stop him and wondering if he went on to continue this behavior with other women.

the things we don’t talk about weigh heavy on my heart. i never talked about it because the thought of reliving it strangled my throat.

so, here we are…me too, friends.

it happened to me too.