Posted on by shirindawna

let them.

it’s become a mantra of sorts…a quiet, almost passive permission we give to the world around us. let them. it’s simple, freeing in theory, but it’s not that easy. it’s the ultimate “don’t sweat the small stuff” whisper to ourselves, yet it’s much more nuanced than that.

let them leave without explaining themselves. let them cancel plans last minute. let them say what they need to say, even if it cuts. let them live however they need to live. the concept is about relinquishing control, the impossible, gut-wrenching, soul-baring release of your grip on other people’s actions and, by default, your reactions.

i’ve tried it. letting people do their thing, letting them show you who they are without you trying to manage, control, or convince them otherwise. let them, right? but here’s the thing: letting them doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt. it doesn’t mean you don’t sit there with the silence after the storm, feeling the ache of the absence, the sting of unmet expectations. it doesn’t mean you stop caring.

but it does mean you stop holding your breath for people to be different than who they are.

i used to get wrapped up in the idea of people. how they could be, if they just did this or that, or if life hadn’t jaded them, or if they cared less about what others think, or if they just tried harder, or if they weren’t so insecure. the fantasy of potential is a dangerous thing. but “let them” is a reality check. people are who they are, and they will do what they want to do with or without your input, your nudging, or your wishes.

so what happens when you “let them?” it doesn’t mean you lose your boundaries or lower your standards. it just means you stop taking on the burden of changing someone else. you step back and let them walk their path, make their choices. and you decide what you want to do with the aftermath.

let them show you who they are, and believe them when they do.

there’s a quiet power in that. it’s not about giving up or being indifferent; it’s about acknowledging that everyone is living their own experience. the way they treat you, the choices they make, that’s their business. how you respond? well, that’s yours.

so, the next time someone disappoints you, falls short, or doesn’t meet your unspoken expectations? let them. and let yourself walk away if you need to.

because at the end of the day, it’s not just about letting them do what they do, it’s about letting yourself choose peace over control. and maybe, just maybe, that’s the real win.

Posted on by shirindawna

normal girls are boring.

i’ve noticed something about myself. i hold off on writing about health scares until there’s some kind of ending. some neat resolution to wrap it all up in a bow. it’s easier that way, isn’t it? you wait until the answers come, tuck the panic into a little box, and move on with your life. today, i don’t have that luxury. there’s no bow, no resolution. this week has been brutal. we’re stuck in the gut-wrenching space where everything is just…uncertain. everything is a question, and every answer feels like smoke slipping through your fingers. “it might be nothing, but it could be something.” and this time, it’s not me in the hot seat. it’s him. my husband.

people keep saying, “don’t worry, it’s probably fine.” i know they mean well, and maybe they’re right (oh please, let them be right). but i’ve heard those words before. they said it about my dad, and it wasn’t fine. they said it about me, and it wasn’t fine then, either.

so, here i am, stuck in this messy middle, the space between hope and fear, where every second feels heavier than the last. my mind’s racing, and i’m rationing my energy like it’s the last bit of air in the room. i’m careful, so careful, about who i let in. i know one wrong word could send me spiraling, and i can’t afford that right now.

i hate this part. the uncertainty. the waiting. all of it. 

Posted on by shirindawna

you’re so lame, you probably think this blog is about you.

this one goes out to the women who treat their relationships like maximum-security prisons—complete with lockdowns, surveillance, and absolutely no visitors from the opposite sex. these are the ones who seem to think that letting their partner have a female friend will somehow send the entire relationship into a tailspin. it’s like they believe their man is one conversation away from running off into the sunset with someone else. spoiler alert: if your relationship is that fragile, it’s not the friend that’s the problem—it’s you.

these women act like the mere existence of another woman is a threat, like they’ve never heard of trust. instead of building a relationship based on mutual respect and confidence, they cling tighter than a toddler holding onto a security blanket, side-eyeing any female who dares to exist in their man’s orbit. unpopular opinion: it’s not the friend they don’t trust—it’s themselves. deep down, they know their insecurity is the only thing standing between them and a healthy relationship, but instead of working on that, they’d rather play relationship cop.

they’ll stalk their partner’s texts, throw passive-aggressive comments at any woman within a 5-mile radius, and claim it’s about “boundaries.” girl, no—it’s about insecurity. if you’re more focused on who your partner is texting than on how to actually communicate, that’s a you problem. and don’t get me started on the whole “women can’t be friends with men” nonsense. if you genuinely believe that, then maybe the issue isn’t the friendship—it’s your fragile sense of self-worth.

at the end of the day, if you can’t trust your partner to have friends of the opposite sex, what you’ve got isn’t love—it’s a hostage situation. newsflash: no amount of policing is going to stop someone from leaving if they want to. so, maybe instead of treating every woman like the enemy, take a good look in the mirror and figure out why you’re so terrified of letting your partner have a life outside of you. because the real issue isn’t her—it’s the insecurity you’re not willing to face.

allegedly, of course.

this is all purely hypothetical.