once upon a time, i had a boyfriend. boyfriend & i broke up. i decide to write ex-boyfriend lovely, heartfelt letter. i poured my heart and soul into it. i shared everything i had always wanted to tell him, but never had the guts to say. instead of tucking it away like you’re supposed to do with such pieces of writing, i sent it.

fast forward a few years…i come to find that ex-boyfriend has taken MY letter and sent it to another girl AS HIS OWN! what the cuss is that about?! don’t steal my words and sentiments and pass them off as your own. i still can’t understand how she would’ve ever believed that those were his words. i mean, really?! he can’t write like that. the letter was clearly from someone with far more self-awareness than he has (no time for modesty, the letter was really really good).

anyhow, so i’m telling my best friend about this and he thinks up a great idea. i should just do standardized letters for people. mad libs for lovers, if you will.

some of the possible themes we discussed:

i love you so much
i’m sorry i cheated (with your sister/mom/dad/brother/best friend)
you should get tested
i hate what you got me for my birthday
the baby isn’t yours
i want you to move out
my life was better before you
i’ve never been happier
our breakup makes me sad, but i look so good (without you)

did i forget any?