WARNING: HIGH SNARK & CRAZY FACTOR
proceed at your own risk. i’m 2 cups of coffee in and i have 2 bar method classes under my belt.
some call it ‘stalking,’ i call it ‘love.’
my best friend recently met a girl. he likes the girl. he told me her name and within 5 minutes, i had messaged him 3 photos of her.
i won’t lie, i engage in some mild to moderate facebook stalking from time to time.
the victims are typically:
a) ex-boyfriends
b) ex-girlfriends of current boyfriends
i can openly admit this now since the guy is no longer in my life…but i was on a mission one day to track down a photo of the guy i was dating’s (we’ll call him ernie*) ex-girlfriend. let me walk you through the crazy of my mind.
my first course of action was to find ernie on facebook, which i couldn’t do…he’s unsearchable. (so am i, sneaky move). i’m smarter than that though, i found his sister. which led me to him, HA!
and then, i looked through each of their friend lists to find friends they had in common. i didn’t know his ex-girlfriends name. just where she lived and her ethnicity. lo and behold, after a few clicks: i found my girl.
and then another dead end. her photo was of a child**. maybe a niece? sorta cute. mostly irritating.
but now i was armed with a name. so, i did what any intelligent researcher would do. i googled imaged her. no luck. couldn’t figure out which cute or not-so-cute face it could be.
after some more hunting i figured out where she worked…
…found her linkedin profile. and no photo! (don’t judge me, i am CURIOUS)
seriously, this chick was killing me.
although, during my delving i did find one of his previous ex girlfriends. currently married and still very much interested in him…she was on a reality tv show. not that cute (she didn’t hurt my eyes, but i am definitely easier to gaze upon). (i’m allowed to be a snot, she was bratty about me dating him ~ jealousssssssss. i am seriously snarky today). i felt fully justified in my scrutiny of her since she asked him for a photo of me and after being grouchy about someone dating her ex, she finally conceded to my looks. i mean, when your ex-boyfriend dates someone who is cuter than you there isn’t much you can say…
and then with a more recent victim, i sent the following email to a friend: i’m stalking their facebook. unblocked photos. i’m making a ‘research’ folder and emailing you photos when i’m done.
the internet is so bad for me!
i think it is evident that i am a lunatic.
…though an honest one.
*NOT his real name
**she has since updated her facebook profile pic to one of her, and i’m not impressed. or disgusted. he could do better. in fact, he did.
sdinsd 
Someone told me to check out your blog: A) yes, you are a lunatic; and B) no, he didn’t do better -I believe he dumped you for me. Now please stop stalking me. Thanks.
LikeLike
mutual stalking society.
put down the stone, you are in a glass house, sweets.
LikeLike
Ernie’s ex –
Not sure who is stalking who here … looks like you keep pretty close tabs on SD in SD …. looks like someone is feeling a bit threatened?
LikeLike
Hahahahahahahah you are psycho but we all are, including her. way to let everyone know ernie’s ex, fail move, id have kept quite for sure! ahha
LikeLike
hey crazy… ever asked your boyfriend about his reality TV experience? Ambiguous guy on temptation island… classy!
LikeLike
i love that my blog is so provocative. especially to those in glass houses…
and yes, fav part of the show is (unquestionably) his quote regarding his gucci luggage filled with dolce & burberry. he’s amazing.
and quite possibly more entertaining than i am.
LikeLike
First of all I wouldn’t call him so entertaining as creepy…
This took me a while because I have a life, then remembered oh, what was her response! So exciting because it is apparent you had no idea about the ambiguous gay guy on temptation island until it was brought up otherwise you wouldn’t have made your “classy” comment about others who have been on one. I know you say you knew but, come on… I think we all see through you, you didn’t know crap until it was brought up your bad… if you knew, you would have never brought up reality TV because that would besmirch your beloved boyfriend’s name.
Lastly, you can’t talk about my house because you don’t know me or my house which is made of stone but yours sweetie pie, is obviously is not so sturdy.
LikeLike
if i were you, i’d hate me too.
p.s. pot, this is the kettle — you’re black.
LikeLike
Hi Michelle: As a close friend of our lovely protagonist, I can tell you she knew about the show when she started dating her “beloved boyfriend.” It’s simply not a big deal to her or him. I find it a bit awkward that you’re so fixated on this particular issue.
Also, learn to punctuate your sentences.
Have a beautiful Thursday!
LikeLike
Michelle, you obviously have either no life or a sorry excuse for one…..you are on some “random” persons blog ranting and raving!!!!!! YOU ARE A MARK ASS TRICK!!!
LikeLike